a little re-introduction

Well, hello there!

This blog is now back up & running after a little hiatus since 2012.

I've asked a few people what they would like to see on here at the moment as I'm getting ready to head back to Rwanda, and it seems I owe a bit of detail about what I'm doing, the work, how I got to be here, etc. Part of that answer requires a bit of transparency, which this blog has always had. So here goes:

I was in Rwanda in 2011 for a few months. The plans I had for that trip ended up not coming to fruition and it became a challenging time for me in terms of understanding what to do next, and what
"God's will" means. In all of those tough questions and decisions, I always held onto the hope and prayer that maybe one day, I would get to go back to Rwanda and "try again" and redeem something that felt like a personal failure.

Fast forward to 2014/2015: I moved back to Australia, started working, living with my parents until I was a little more grounded and stable, and met some really great friends. Unfortunately, the job I got did not work out. Without going into too much detail (for the sake of integrity and professionalism) the work environment was not a healthy one for me to be in. So I found myself kind of "floating", looking for more work, but feeling very burnt out from the nature of working in the foster care system without good professional support, and honestly feeling pretty relived to be out of that job, but also pretty defeated and extremely drained by the whole experience.

I was at home doing a bunch of nothing one day, when a friend whom I had met in Rwanda in 2011 contacted me: "So if I were to tell you there is a new ministry starting to help women get out of sex work.. would that pique your interest?", she said. Now if you know me at all, you know that this most definitely piqued my interest! I was in India in 2012 working with women rescued from trafficking, and in my adult years have become passionate about women's issues, and if you add in the "I don't have a full-time job, house/mortgage, or husband/family", etc.. all the pieces just seems to fit. It seems that God has given me the opportunity to redeem that trip from back on 2011 that was so challenging and confusing - and that's just the selfish part of the whole thing! Then there's the part where I get to come alongside other people and work together to help these women achieve the goals and outcomes they are going to set for themselves to find employment and financial stability for their families without prostitution.

If you were to read back to the very beginning of this blog, you would see that working for the good of others has been something I have dedicated my life to. I got my degree in Social Work because I want a career that focuses on working alongside others to better their lives and situations. And so, regardless of all the little things and circumstances that fell into place, this is the kind of thing that I want my life to be about: to be a part of seeing change in the lives of people who want or need to see change.

There are many tangents I could go on in this post alone, but I have a feeling those things will start to come out as time goes along and as I write more. So I'll leave it at that for now.

As always, please feel free to ask questions - if there's more information you want or suggestions for what to write about, please do not hesitate to contact me!

I genuinely thank you for reading this.

Much love.

Bronte

(To donate to my living expenses click here)

(To donate to the funding for the program - Duhugurane/DuHope - click here!)

thus begins the rest of my life

it's been a while.

New York ended up being a bumpy, but beautiful ride.

in a few hours I will get on a plane (for essentially an entire day..) and land back in Australia. a place I consider home, but one that I'm afraid may not feel that way initially. I am comforted only by the thought of sunshine and my family waiting on the other side, darling nieces and nephews included.

today I keep trying to decide if moving at age 14 was more difficult than doing it again at 25. so far I think year 25 takes the cake.

alas, back to packing. maybe this blog will end up being a helpful outlet like it was a few years ago. sometimes I feel the need to write these things out, but on a little less public forum as Facebook (I also hate "pity posts" on Facebook..) so pity blog it is!

Phase 4.

I had been contemplating starting up this blog to document and process my transition from life in America back to Australia. However, now I have another little adventure to work through.

In 11 days I will be fulfilling a long-time dream of living in New York City. I have accepted a position with a mother and her daughter to be a nanny/assistant on the Upper West Side. I am thrilled to be able to have this opportunity and be able to say that I obtained a goal that seemed unrealistic and just whimsical at times.

However, as this blog often clearly explains, I'm not great at transitions. I'm feeling a bit anxious about packing, adjusting, friends.... or.. lack thereof.

I'm currently at a point in my life where my whole outlook, my "mantra" if you will, has definitely shifted. I'm trying to embrace the world more: experience it; be a part of it; participate, instead of just watch it happen around me.

I'm also at a point where I feel like I've really established a pretty good group of people to surround myself with. I don't necessarily have a strong friend group or community; it's more like I have a select few individuals from different aspects of my life that I feel I can depend on and who are significant and fulfill my own personal need to feel significant. We have things in common, strong discussions, they are compassionate, intentional, present, they challenge me, they're willing.

Unfortunately, this move to New York kind of puts these two new areas of my world into conflict: on the one hand I am going on an adventure and diving into one of the largest most exciting cities on planet earth. But, on the other hand, I am leaving behind the people I feel like I've finally found to do life alongside.

So, as I feel excited to tackle a new city and a new experience that I've been aching for for years, I also feel anxiety - fear even - for the loneliness that is about to ensue. I am going to do my best to keep in contact with said people - they mean too much to me and have shown me too much love and care for me not to. But I'm also going to have to be very intentional about trying to find friends who replicate these same ideals in life and friendship. I may not find them - but if I can at least find people I can be myself with and who can fill some of the lonely hours, then I'll consider it a blessing, and I will be grateful.

Honestly though, in a way I only hope to find more shallow, surface-level friendships. Because I don't want to replace any of the people in my life that I have now. And I don't want to form more bonds that I will only have to lose or break when I leave New York for Australia. It's going to be painful enough leaving the friends I have now. I've seen so many people in and out of my life the past 15 years that it's hard for me to trust in friendships. But once I do, that trust runs deep, which creates the chance for me to be deeply hurt if I feel like those friendships become insignificant.

"There's freedom in not being close to anyone, because then you don't get hurt."

The battle then becomes the freedom to not feel hurt when I leave versus the loneliness of doing life in New York with surface-level friends.

Who knows, maybe I will meet people who do shape me the way my friends now have. Maybe I'll just find people to grab coffee with when I'm feeling bored. I honestly have no idea what the next year holds for me. Part of that is scary, but a lot of it is exciting.

Stay tuned for depressing posts about my struggle. (And some fun New York musings).


+ things I'll miss about America.


Thanks, as always.

the end (for now).

Well. Hello there faithful blog readers. It's been quite a while - quite a while since my last post, and quite a while since this journey has (physically) ended. I had meant to write a post during my last few days in India, then during my first few days back in the US.. yet here I am today, three weeks later and just now writing it. I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to tell you - I'm going to start typing, and hope that what comes out is something good. But no promises. Where to start..

I guess part of the problem is that I half expected to have processed something by now, something complete and fulfilled that I could report back to you. However, I think the problem is that I'm never going to stop processing. This trip is going to somehow mesh into the person that I am - the experiences, the lessons, the people, the memories, will somehow, one day (and already are) shaping me.

Although there is so much about the past seven (going on eight!) months that I can't describe to you, let alone process, comprehend, or understand, I want to at least share with you what I have managed to put into some words.

First of all - I learned to let go of expectations. This was tough. I kind of had it in my mind that I'd go overseas and work hard and change lives and impact people, all because of this degree that I have (in Social Work). That somehow my four years of education, and one slip of paper + a funny hat would make me some force for injustice to reckon with. Alas, I still have a lot of learning to do. About my gifts, my abilities, the things I desire. I may have found some of my way along the path of my life, but I still have a lot of figuring out to do. A lot of people go away to these countries (namely, India) to "find themselves" but I think this time caused me to question myself, more than it gave me answers. Maybe I'll find those answers one day, maybe I won't - and I'm ok with that. I may never have concrete answers, but I have been shaped in some way, I have learned something. I have been humbled. Entirely and completely been broken and humbled. Just because you dedicate your life to go overseas and be a missionary, doesn't mean you're going to succeed at it. God is able to use what you do, but what you do does nothing standing alone. I can only hope that God is using me somehow, even amidst my feelings of failure during that time (I'll come back to this topic shortly).

Something else I wanted to share with you was an opportunity I had to spend with some very special people. In my last two weeks in India, I went away to a camp that Freedom Firm hosts each year for girls from all over India who have been trafficked. We had about 30 girls, ranging from 16 - 30. A team from the States came to lead the camp - crafts, stories, games, etc. I got to sit and watch these girls running around, laughing, having fun - something they rarely, if ever, get to do. And I just "people watched" - I noticed their individual personalities. Some were quiet, reserved, a bit lacking in confidence, but sweet. Some were quiet, but also quite aggressive and had definite walls up. Some were goofy and awkward. Some were beautifully confident and funny. Each girl was so different, but all so sweet and precious. Yet each and every one of them has experienced something so dreadfully hurtful, something SO inherently evil. How a person, a girl so young, comes out of forced prostitution and still knows how to smile so strongly is such a huge testimony to the human spirit. As I watched them I was just thinking about how God had created each and every one of them with a beautiful personality, and that even the most disgusting of evils hadn't destroyed that. They each shared this common factor, something that could so easily and heavily define them, yet their individual characters still stayed strong in them. I will never, ever forget these beautiful faces and personalities.

Some people have asked me since being back if I have struggled with how evil people can be - if I have a negative perception of the human race now. But because of these girls, I feel the opposite way. Because of their ability to stay strong, happy, funny, confident, sweet, caring, throughout such struggles, I have a renewed feeling of happiness towards humanity. That not only are there still people with such qualities, but there are people who have suffered under the very hands of the most evil people of this world, who remain so incredible. They are the most vulnerable, yet the strongest people I've ever encountered in my life.

Many of the girls who came to the camp were Muslim and Hindu girls. Freedom Firm (and the Woodsedge church from America) were able to share with them their personal beliefs about Christ. On the last day of camp, the two men from the church explained the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet, and then washed the feet of all the girls there. These girls broke down. To have someone serve them in such an intimate way, let alone men, the very people who exploited them day in and day out, broke down walls. I don't know what those girls thought about God or Jesus or the fact that He loves them so immensely, but I at least now know that they heard it. During this time I realised just how badly they need Him. These girls have had everything taken from them: their childhood, their virginity, their families, for many of them they will have a hard time having any sort of future since they have been disowned and cannot be married in a society so heavily dependent on marriage. Some of them have contracted HIV - so their health, and maybe even, their life, has been stripped from them. What left is there to give them? The love and relationships we as humans can give them can help to restore some of this hurt, but ultimately, the only thing that can truly lift them out of such brokenness is Christ. When I think of God's love, I automatically think of these girls. His love for them is just so intensely huge and they deserve it more than I ever will. That is why I say that I feel humbled. Because God does not need me. He doesn't need my qualifications, my degree, my willingness, my "bravery" to go to Rwanda and India - He doesn't need it at all. Those girls don't need any of that. All they need is someone to share Christ with them and to understand His immense love for them. Now I can only hope that they learned some of that, in some small way, from me. What an honour it would be to represent His love to these girls.

A dear friend of mine gave me a gift before I left for Rwanda - a journal with some quotes and things written in it. One of those quotes read: 

"Walk away from your computer. Then take off, go to India, rural China, Rio, Caracas, and Belize. Mingle with the filthy rich and the dirt poor. Dig up all the roots of terror. Make hunger, disease, cruelty, lust, greed, self-preservation and genocide your roommates. Then when you run out of money and can't take it anymore, fly back home. Look in the mirror. Face your fears, your weaknesses, strengths, your imminent demise. Then when all of this begins to gel into a master narrative in front of your eyes, go get a job." - Kalle Lasn.

That just about sums it up. I've learned about my weaknesses (if I were to explain them all to you, you'd be here for hours..) and fears, but I've let that become my strength - to acknowledge the things that I am lacking, to be aware of them, and to allow them to be opportunities for God to take over. I have been broken a few times over the last few months, but it's like the old cliche saying, "If it's not broken, don't fix it" - I can only begin to become more of what Christ wants me to be once I am broken. 

I could go on for a long time, but this post is already half a novel ;) I appreciate you reading, whether you read every post over the past year, or if you only read this one. If there is anything else you are curious about, or want to know more about, or want to discuss, or even disagree with me - please feel free to contact me.

Thank you again - for your support, prayers, belief in me, and encouragement. It made all the difference.

Bronte.

"Welcome for India"

As you may have heard, I was a bit sick as of late. One of the Freedom Firm girls told us a few times in regards to getting sick: "Welcome for India" in her broken English.

Being sick here was quite miserable; being sick away from home is never fun. And being stuck in bed for a whole week is never fun either. So for about a week and a half I really couldn't eat anything - I was constantly nauseated and weak. No fun. In the middle of the week, we decided it was time to go see a doctor. So our driver, Susai, picked up Sheena and I (who was also sick) and took us to the "hospital" run by a Catholic convent/church on the other side of Ooty. We were greeted by a woman who we are assuming was an actual doctor.. She spoke some English, but it seemed like a lot of what we were saying was going a bit over her head - she wasn't really seeming to understand what our problem was, which was cause for frustration. Sometimes she even laughed at us when we shared a symptom. She decided Sheena needed a drip, much to her disagreement.. So we were forced to stay at the hospital for a couple of hours. She told me she wanted to give me an injection too, which I managed to talk her out of (I've never heard of getting an injection for a stomach problem!) She then insisted we lay down in bed and sleep..

But funnily enough, that was when she started asking us about our beliefs - "Do you believe in God? Do you believe in Jesus? Do you believe in the mother Mary?" Then began the passionate scolding about how we should respect the mother Mary and how she can intercede for us because she is the blood of Jesus, and how we should pray to our parents once they are gone from this earth because they are ALWAYS our parents, and will always take care of us, even from heaven.. and so on. Now you know me, I'm always up for a good discussion of issues, but when you feel like you want to rip your stomach out of your body and you're being force fed in order to take pills that you actually don't know what they are, being told that you should pray and believe differently by a "doctor" in a half-clean bed in an Indian "hospital" isn't exactly the most welcomed situation.

Eventually she laughed at us for what we believed and how we disagreed, gave us some pills, including antibiotics, and sent us on our way. I spent the next few days in bed.. and eventually ventured out back to the office after being sick from Monday to the following Wednesday a week and a half later. However, after taking the antibiotics, I still didn't feel like I could eat anything.. so we took another trip to the hospital - a DIFFERENT one this time. I saw the doctor who asked me some questions, listened to my answers, didn't laugh at me or try to convert me to Catholicism or Hinduism or anything.. I was in and out in about 10 minutes with a diagnosis (something I didn't really get at the first hospital..) and some pills. Turns out I had some type of gastro/stomach infection and dehydration (wasn't much of a surprise). After just a few days of these pills I'm back on my feet! I can eat again (although not much of the food we eat is particularly appetizing after eating the same things for 2 months straight) But I have my energy back, which feels GREAT!

It was definitely an experience, and a bit of a "rite of passage" for foreigners living in India. However, I am EXTREMELY grateful that it is over. Thank you to anyone who was praying for my recovery - your prayers were heard, and I am no longer miserably laying in bed desperately craving home. So, I thank you.

As always, questions, emails, and mail are welcomed :)

Much love,

Bronte.

The Indians struggle with spelling my name a bit... then again, so do the Americans ;)

Daily Happenings of Bronte Didi

Hello out there.

Well, unfortunately, this week has been filled with a bit of sickness.. at first I thought it was from eating bad food, but it turns out there's a virus going around Ooty (100 of the kids from the international school here got it..). Still not exactly sure what the deal is, since mine seems to be lingering longer than anyone elses.. but I should be up and running in a few days, as I slowly gain my appetite back.

Anyway, I thought I'd fill you all in on just some little bits and pieces, cultural tid bits, from my life here in Ooty (I've been here 7 weeks already, can you believe it?) :

As a sign of respect, people are referred to with some title, which takes the form of a family member. For example, I am "Bronte Didi" - which literally translates as "Bronte sister". Men are referred to as brothers, or uncles if they are older.

The girls in the program speak Kannada - a langauge from their state, Karnataka. But, they are learning Hindi and English in school. Locals here in Ooty speak Tamil - so, there's a lot of languages floating around, which, unfortunately means I haven't picked up anything! Which is ok, because it's good for the girls to learn more English from talking with us.

We walk a lot here in Ooty - basically eveyhwere, unless we want to pay for a rickshaw - one of those little three wheeler things (http://conqueringthecenturyclub.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/autorickshaw.jpg - glamourous, huh?) ;) We live on the top of a hill/mountain so we get a bit of exercise in ;) Which has caused a few pairs of broken shoes.. hopefully my last pair or two last the next 5 weeks!

While we are walking, we see lots of cows, since India is so heavily Hindu. They kind of just roam about aimlessly, eating rubbish off the side of the road, some with decorative head bands and painted horns. There's a few dogs and goats (and monkeys) around too.

While we walk, we are also very wary of the men - in Indian culture, it is a bit provocative to make eye contact with a man, so we tend to just stare past them, as to not give the wrong impression! Women are definitely seen as the "weaker" "less valuable" gender here in India, which is a bit troubling.

We are required to dress appropriately - all shirts/tops must be longer than our bottoms, have a high neckline, sleeves, and loose fitting. It is rare to see an Indian woman not wearing a punjabi (a long tunic top with matching puffy pants!) or a sari (mostly the older women wear saris).

Hygiene is a bit of a different story in India.. they don't use toilet paper, they use.. well.. other things..

Which is why when we eat we are only allowed to eat with our RIGHT hand.. the left hand is for.. well.. other things.. We eat rice with samba, which is like a vegetable curry. We don't use forks or spoons or knives.. it's all done with our hand! Quite messy, but a bit of fun.

That's all I can think of for right now..! That's my educational post for the time being ;)

Thank you all for your continued support. Only 5 more weeks! All your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement means more than you know - thank you! (Please pray for my health to completely return!)

-Bronte.

Address:

Bronte Hughes

C/O Freedom Firm

78/85 Indu Sadan

Glenrock

Ooty, Tamil Nadu 643001

INDIA

Comings & Goings!

We've had a few more changes here at Freedom Firm the past few weeks.. In my last post, I talked about how how of the girls left the program, reunited with her family. Well, coincidentally, the very next morning, someone showed up on the doorstep of the girls' house...

The girl who arrived is a previous Freedom Firm participant. She was here about 7 months ago, but her father also came to collect her, with the promise of having a marriage arranged for her. For whatever reason, it seems that didn't happen, and due to an intense amount of conflict (suspected abuse) within her family, she ran away and came back to Freedom Firm. It's been quite an adjustment, and I can see that this girl is still very vulnerable, even after being in the program almost 2 years previously. I'm definitely in need of some God-given peace while spending time with her.

So as one leaves, one comes.. but then another leaves! This past Friday, we had a graduation celebration for one of the girls who will be leaving to go start another workshop in another city for rescued girls. She's a very strong individual (which can be both good and bad..!), and I feel so excited for her to start a new time in her life. She has also faced an intensely difficult time earlier in her life, but the way God has redeemed her and brought her strengths out to glorify Him is very evident. We all have a feeling she's going to impact many people in a very strong way - she will surely be used by God!

We had another very exciting celebration today, as two of the girls were baptised! They shared a short testimony in front of the church about how God has reached them, the way He loves them, the way Freedom Firm staff have ministered to them and taught them, the way they hold Jesus in their heart, and the joy they have experienced in knowing Him. It was a really beautiful and exciting time. The pastor shared with the congregation beforehand about how if you look at the genealogy of Jesus, God used people who were unfavourable in the eyes of society; particularly prostitutes. He shared about the way God redeems people, washes them clean, and uses them for such good things. It was such a beautiful reminder of how these girls who have been subjected to such evil are now beautiful creations in the eyes of God, and of us! It was really wonderful to witness :)

As far as I personally go - I am doing well. The girls can be quite draining at times, but I have some nice down time (and time with my housemates) to recuperate. I am learning that I need to continue leaning on God the same way I did in Rwanda, when I was feeling so low, even when I feel so much stronger than I did then - even in the times where things are going well, I still need to go running to him. I have had to take some time to re-surrender this trip to Him, and allow Him to do with it what He wants, instead of sticking to my own agenda. Already I have seen results of this (only one day after I prayed about it!) in the way I have been able to support a missionary family I know here. They work with prisoners, and this specific project involves bringing supplies for women to make jewellery in order to: give them something to do, and to also bring in a small wage. I've been really excited to be able to sell some of the pieces in the States to help fund the project, as all the money used so far was my friend's personal savings. If you're interested in looking/purchasing (I will be making deliveries once I return to the States in May) there's a link at the bottom of this post (it's all hand-made and really cheap!) :)

I thank you all for reading, please continue in praying for me as I finish out the last 6 weeks of this long journey! I appreciate you all so much.

Much love,

Bronte.

Click HERE to see handmade Indian jewellery to support prison ministries!

ALSO! I have really been enjoying sending/receiving MAIL :) so if you'd like to write or receive a letter my address is:

Bronte Hughes

C/O Freedom Firm

78/85 Indu Sadan

Glenrock

Ooty, Tamil Nadu 643001

INDIA

:)

a good, eventful, cultural day in India.

So, I was going to do a boring blog post with some random bits of information about my daily happenings, but then I had a more eventful day than usual, so I’ll share with you! (Sorry I’ve been so lousy at keeping you all updated!)

So. We have a particular girl in the program who we’ve had trouble getting all the correct info about her story about how she was trafficked and her family situation and such. She has been attempting to contact her father for a few weeks, but wasn’t able to for whatever reason, but it wasn’t until a few days ago that some information about his email and phone number came to her mind. She seems to have a lot of trouble remembering things, which is most likely a result of her trauma. In the office they had a day of prayer on Thursday, and this girl was asking for prayer about seeing her family. We all seemed pretty skeptical that anything was going to come of it, given her inability to tell a consistent version of her story. But, as I walked into the office today, she seemed extremely happy, she told me with a huge grin on her face that her parents were coming today! I couldn’t believe that just two days ago we were thinking how unlikely it was that we’d be in contact with her father, and now it was just a few hours till he arrived. It was really precious to see how excited she was, but I was still a bit nervous about how things were going to go.

But, I arrived back to the office after a trip to the market to find her parents both there! Her father was really sweet and they both seemed to be so relieved to see their daughter again. We found out it had been two and a half years since she’d been missing, and they’d been trying to find her, but the police system in India didn’t make the task easy.. or possible. It was a pretty emotional time, for everyone – her parents, herself, and for us to watch. She was able to go home with her parents today! There are still definitely concerns over her mental state, as we see some pretty heavy effects of the trauma she’s experienced, but it’s beautiful to know she is back in the company of her family and loved ones, and that she’s safe. Usually we think about the girls and what they go through, but this experience made me stop and think about what her parents must have gone through, their child missing for over two years with no idea whatsoever where she could be. It was sad to see her go, even though I am excited for her, because I was really enjoying having her around - she had the strongest English of all the girls so it was much easier to form a connection, and she's very sweet natured. But, I feel really blessed to be able to witness something like this, and it makes me even more excited about the work that Freedom Firm and IJM do.

After work, I visited a church with a friend of mine and Sheena, my housemate. Sheena has been doing some speaking here in India to try to let people see that women are valuable! We parked and walked up through a lot of houses that were not as nice as others in Ooty.. these were more like shanty houses, instead of holiday homes. We arrived at the church to very lively music (sung in Tamil). We sat on the women’s side.. the men were on the other side of the room.. very culturally different to churches I’ve usually been to. Sheena began to give her talk, but half way through was interrupted by a cow outside mooing loudly. Only in India!

It was great to see how excited the pastor was to share with his congregation, who are mostly new Christians. It’s always refreshing and exciting to interact with Indian Christians, since Hinduism is so prevalent here.

So, yes, an eventful day indeed! But a good day!

Thanks for reading.

(Feel free to ask questions – I feel like I haven’t done a very good job of explaining much!)

- Bronte.