the end (for now).

Well. Hello there faithful blog readers. It's been quite a while - quite a while since my last post, and quite a while since this journey has (physically) ended. I had meant to write a post during my last few days in India, then during my first few days back in the US.. yet here I am today, three weeks later and just now writing it. I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to tell you - I'm going to start typing, and hope that what comes out is something good. But no promises. Where to start..

I guess part of the problem is that I half expected to have processed something by now, something complete and fulfilled that I could report back to you. However, I think the problem is that I'm never going to stop processing. This trip is going to somehow mesh into the person that I am - the experiences, the lessons, the people, the memories, will somehow, one day (and already are) shaping me.

Although there is so much about the past seven (going on eight!) months that I can't describe to you, let alone process, comprehend, or understand, I want to at least share with you what I have managed to put into some words.

First of all - I learned to let go of expectations. This was tough. I kind of had it in my mind that I'd go overseas and work hard and change lives and impact people, all because of this degree that I have (in Social Work). That somehow my four years of education, and one slip of paper + a funny hat would make me some force for injustice to reckon with. Alas, I still have a lot of learning to do. About my gifts, my abilities, the things I desire. I may have found some of my way along the path of my life, but I still have a lot of figuring out to do. A lot of people go away to these countries (namely, India) to "find themselves" but I think this time caused me to question myself, more than it gave me answers. Maybe I'll find those answers one day, maybe I won't - and I'm ok with that. I may never have concrete answers, but I have been shaped in some way, I have learned something. I have been humbled. Entirely and completely been broken and humbled. Just because you dedicate your life to go overseas and be a missionary, doesn't mean you're going to succeed at it. God is able to use what you do, but what you do does nothing standing alone. I can only hope that God is using me somehow, even amidst my feelings of failure during that time (I'll come back to this topic shortly).

Something else I wanted to share with you was an opportunity I had to spend with some very special people. In my last two weeks in India, I went away to a camp that Freedom Firm hosts each year for girls from all over India who have been trafficked. We had about 30 girls, ranging from 16 - 30. A team from the States came to lead the camp - crafts, stories, games, etc. I got to sit and watch these girls running around, laughing, having fun - something they rarely, if ever, get to do. And I just "people watched" - I noticed their individual personalities. Some were quiet, reserved, a bit lacking in confidence, but sweet. Some were quiet, but also quite aggressive and had definite walls up. Some were goofy and awkward. Some were beautifully confident and funny. Each girl was so different, but all so sweet and precious. Yet each and every one of them has experienced something so dreadfully hurtful, something SO inherently evil. How a person, a girl so young, comes out of forced prostitution and still knows how to smile so strongly is such a huge testimony to the human spirit. As I watched them I was just thinking about how God had created each and every one of them with a beautiful personality, and that even the most disgusting of evils hadn't destroyed that. They each shared this common factor, something that could so easily and heavily define them, yet their individual characters still stayed strong in them. I will never, ever forget these beautiful faces and personalities.

Some people have asked me since being back if I have struggled with how evil people can be - if I have a negative perception of the human race now. But because of these girls, I feel the opposite way. Because of their ability to stay strong, happy, funny, confident, sweet, caring, throughout such struggles, I have a renewed feeling of happiness towards humanity. That not only are there still people with such qualities, but there are people who have suffered under the very hands of the most evil people of this world, who remain so incredible. They are the most vulnerable, yet the strongest people I've ever encountered in my life.

Many of the girls who came to the camp were Muslim and Hindu girls. Freedom Firm (and the Woodsedge church from America) were able to share with them their personal beliefs about Christ. On the last day of camp, the two men from the church explained the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet, and then washed the feet of all the girls there. These girls broke down. To have someone serve them in such an intimate way, let alone men, the very people who exploited them day in and day out, broke down walls. I don't know what those girls thought about God or Jesus or the fact that He loves them so immensely, but I at least now know that they heard it. During this time I realised just how badly they need Him. These girls have had everything taken from them: their childhood, their virginity, their families, for many of them they will have a hard time having any sort of future since they have been disowned and cannot be married in a society so heavily dependent on marriage. Some of them have contracted HIV - so their health, and maybe even, their life, has been stripped from them. What left is there to give them? The love and relationships we as humans can give them can help to restore some of this hurt, but ultimately, the only thing that can truly lift them out of such brokenness is Christ. When I think of God's love, I automatically think of these girls. His love for them is just so intensely huge and they deserve it more than I ever will. That is why I say that I feel humbled. Because God does not need me. He doesn't need my qualifications, my degree, my willingness, my "bravery" to go to Rwanda and India - He doesn't need it at all. Those girls don't need any of that. All they need is someone to share Christ with them and to understand His immense love for them. Now I can only hope that they learned some of that, in some small way, from me. What an honour it would be to represent His love to these girls.

A dear friend of mine gave me a gift before I left for Rwanda - a journal with some quotes and things written in it. One of those quotes read: 

"Walk away from your computer. Then take off, go to India, rural China, Rio, Caracas, and Belize. Mingle with the filthy rich and the dirt poor. Dig up all the roots of terror. Make hunger, disease, cruelty, lust, greed, self-preservation and genocide your roommates. Then when you run out of money and can't take it anymore, fly back home. Look in the mirror. Face your fears, your weaknesses, strengths, your imminent demise. Then when all of this begins to gel into a master narrative in front of your eyes, go get a job." - Kalle Lasn.

That just about sums it up. I've learned about my weaknesses (if I were to explain them all to you, you'd be here for hours..) and fears, but I've let that become my strength - to acknowledge the things that I am lacking, to be aware of them, and to allow them to be opportunities for God to take over. I have been broken a few times over the last few months, but it's like the old cliche saying, "If it's not broken, don't fix it" - I can only begin to become more of what Christ wants me to be once I am broken. 

I could go on for a long time, but this post is already half a novel ;) I appreciate you reading, whether you read every post over the past year, or if you only read this one. If there is anything else you are curious about, or want to know more about, or want to discuss, or even disagree with me - please feel free to contact me.

Thank you again - for your support, prayers, belief in me, and encouragement. It made all the difference.

Bronte.

G'day!

Well this post is definitely long over due. I guess I haven't written it coz I'm not exactly sure what I have to say. I have left Rwanda, and am enjoying some time with my family in Australia. This place really is my home, and I'm thrilled to be here.

One of the things that kept me in Rwanda so long was the fear that I'd leave and regret it and feel like a huge failure and feel really dumb for the way things went. I am happy to report that this is not the case! I have full peace about my decision to leave when I did (about 3 weeks earlier than originally planned). Even though things did not go according to plan, I have confidence that I was trying to follow what I thought God wanted for me. I don't know if I misinterpreted His plan, or if He sent me to Rwanda to learn all the things I did learn there, but, I don't think I have to know - whichever of the two it may be, I was trying to be obedient to Him, and He sees that - I know He isn't disappointed in me, and that's really all that counts in the end.

I hope that one day I will be able to return to Rwanda and give it another go! Now that I have more knowledge of what kind of programs exist, what is needed, and where I fit in in those areas, I don't want to walk away from it, just accepting that it happened and that's the end - I want to redeem my time there somehow, but that won't be for another few years, so we'll cross that bridge when we come to it ;)

As for now, I am happy to be here in Australia, but also a bit nervous about my upcoming trip to India. I definitely feel good about the things I have learned during my time in Rwanda that I can now apply to India, but I'm also nervous about missing home all over again. Adjusting to life in Rwanda was extremely difficult for the first few days/week, and now that I am so relieved and happy to be here with my family and will be seeing Bryce and then have to say bye to him again for 3 months, I am scared that it's going to be ever harder all over again once I get to India.

So, once again, for all my pray-ers out there, if you could please pray that I would 1. be able to enjoy my time here without worrying about India, and 2. that my transition to my stay in India will not be too emotionally draining and that I will have peace about being there.

Thanks again for reading,

I probably won't be updating again until I get to India in the first week of February, so for now, have a beautiful Christmas!

endings in Rwanda

Ah, first, my apologies that I have been so absent from updating lately. I have done a few things here and there – visited my housemates nursery school again, some quick odd-jobs for my other housemate, another day out helping to build the house in Ngenda (this time I helped carry chopped down eucalyptus trees!)

Also went out to see Gisenyi and Musanze with my housemate – it was really beautiful (minus the altitude sickness!) We stayed at a little place run by some Franciscan nuns right on Lake Kivu, across from the Congo. We even saw one of the volcanoes glowing through the clouds at night!! I’ve added it to my bucket list to go see a volcano before I die! It was really beautiful and I’m glad I got to explore a little more of Rwanda.

I also went out again with REACH to another village where they have previously run their reconciliation/empowerment workshop. The participants were able to get together again after a year, and share what they had been doing with what they learned since they went through the workshop. I didn’t get to hear much, since they speak in Kinyarwanda, but what I did hear was so beautiful. These people are so proactive and dedicated to improving not only their own life, but the lives of others. It’s really awesome to see. For example, one woman shared that her husband had been put in prison (and has since died) for being a genocide offender, but through the training, she was able to reconcile and find friendship with a woman whose husband has been killed during the genocide – what a powerful testament to how beautiful the human spirit can be, even in the wake of it’s ugliness! Hearing about some of the training made me stop and realise that if these people can cling to such forgiveness for something so huge, that I should be more willing to forgive in my own life, because the things that have been done to me, are not even close to what these women have witnessed. I hope that you too will take a moment to stop and think about how our small hurts, and even our big hurts, are chances for forgiveness – if these people can find forgiveness in something so huge as a national genocide, we too can forgive people in our life. It has been an honour to meet the people of Rwanda.

Unfortunately, I have gotten myself sick! I have an amoeba in my intestines.. I think it’s in my intestines.. ha. It’s pretty common for foreigners here – it’s a microscopic parasite of sorts that is found in certain foods and water. Basically any time you eat outside of your own home, you’re at risk to get one, so no huge drama, but a bit miserable being stuck in bed feeling nauseated for a few days! Luckily my lovely fill-in Aussie mum offered to take me to the doctor to figure it out and get some pills. And my housemate has had something similar before, so she’s been really helpful also. So, as much as it is never fun to be sick away from home, I’m blessed to have the people I do around me.

Now, comes the biggie. Ha. I have decided to leave Rwanda a few weeks earlier than originally planned. I have been thinking and praying over this for so long, and I think I have finally found my answer. It didn’t come in big flashing lights like I had been praying for, I mean how often does God really ever give it to us that easily ;) but I have come to an answer, and I feel peace about that. I’ve also been having issues getting my Visa extended – I’m technically meant to be leaving the country by tomorrow, which is confirming in and of itself. It feels good to finally know – I have had so much anxiety over this situation lately. It’s been so draining. So, I will probably be leaving in about a week, and heading to my sister’s house in Australia (the plan was always to go to Australia, but now I’m just going a few weeks earlier).

I’m sure I’ll have plenty more to reflect on this situation in the next week or so, and maybe some more explanation, which I do feel I owe to everyone who has supported me throughout this trip. But, that will come with time – I don’t want to speak too soon.

So, as always, I thank you for reading, I thank you for supporting, praying, encouraging, for any little thought you have even given to me. I have been truly blessed by the amount of people I have felt come around me during this time. A lot of people say that stuff like this shows who your true friends are, but that phrase usually is associated with finding you have less friends than you thought – I think I have had the opposite experience. The number of people who may not have been my closest or best friends, but who have reached out to encourage me or just send well wishes has been truly beautiful. I feel so supported by each and every one of you. So I thank you. And ask for your continued support as I:

1. Transition out of Rwanda back to Australia.
2. As I then head off for India in February for another 3 months of who-knows-what!

Ok, signing off. Thanks again.

Much love,

Bronte.

YWAM & REACH

long time no type!

after finishing up some admin work for the school/preschool at YWAM for their Closing Day, i was then invited to attend a seminar at YWAM. it is a course on healing and care for children in crisis/trauma, taught by a professional counselor from the UK. some of the information was a bit repetitive for me, given my social work degree and work with children, etc. but it's been a good refresher course given i will be going to work with girls experiencing severe trauma in february.

it was a lovely surprise when on the first morning of the seminar, the australian woman whose family goes to the church i go to here was also taking the seminar! it's so nice to have other aussies around! ;)

this then allowed me to go out in the field (out into the "villages" of rwanda) with her husband, who works for REACH, which is a reconciliation/trauma/counseling based organisation. they hold seminars to talk people through the history of rwanda, the build up to the genocide, and then counsel people through the trauma of the genocide, which must be powerful beyond words. at the end of the seminar, the participants have the opportunity to continue working together in some way. for example, one group we visited, decided to make and sell soap as a group. another group (the group i visited for most of the day) decided to help one of their fellow members by building a house. she is just 19, and her mother died a year ago. she now has to raise her three siblings - age 3, 6, and 9. after learning that they were not living in adequate housing, the team decided they'd all build a house together for her and her siblings and her grandmother also. so today, i was able to help them make mud bricks! they dig a whole out of dirt, poor in water, and then stomp through it like you see people doing to make wine! then they take the mud, and put it into a frame to form the shape of the brick. they then take a few days to dry, and voile! all the members are very young - teens-early 20s. it's pretty impressive to see them all lend their time, energy, and hard work to this girl. some of them have given their lives to Christ, so we got to hear (through a translator) some of the things they are reading about and learning in the Bible.

so tomorrow is the last day of the seminar, have some fun things planned for the weekend (my housemate decided the whole week was her birthday week, so we've had something fun planned each night since monday ha!), then monday brings another trip to immigration to see if i can get my visa extended.

thanks, as always, for reading!

much love

-Bronte.

Lake Bunyonyi, part 2

the second day of our stay in Uganda was just as beautiful as the first.

we went over to the island with the rope swing and had a bit of a swim

we then headed to the island where we had met the locals the day before, as they had invited us to come watch their high school football/soccer match.. Lake Bunyonyi vs. Central High School. we watched as they ran around a completely NOT flat field, some with sneakers, some without shoes on, some with one shoe.. and then the RAIN came. and i don't mean a cute little sun shower.. this was a monsoon! the game stopped and we took shelter in one of their buildings, until of course, Jon and Ty decided they'd play their own game. all the Africans watched on as two crazy muzungus played football together in the rain ;)

once the rain let up, we decided we should head back to our island before another storm came. but another storm came. canoeing through the "waves" on the lake with the wind blowing while we sang pirate songs was slightly stressful, but mostly just a heck of a lot of fun. the rest of the night included playing cards, relaxing and reading, and just some good conversation about an array of topics as we got to know each other a bit more.

i am now back in Kigali, about to start another week helping out at YWAM. even though i was only gone for a few days, the hustle and bustle is overwhelming already! but, i am so thankful for this weekend - both to the people i got to spend time with, and also to God for creating such a beautiful place for us to enjoy.

if you ever have the opportunity to go to Uganda, i recommend Lake Bunyonyi - you will NOT regret it!

-Bronte.

follow this link for some photos from the weekend :)

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2477861661168.135908.1091280021&type=1&l=7fdad63fa2

a weekend away in Uganda

Ah, Uganda. I don’t even know where to start to explain this weekend!

As I write, I am staring at the beauty of Lake Binyonyi. I don’t know how big it is, but it’s big enough that there are a series of small islands – some are used as accommodation, like the one I am on, but some are the homes of the locals, where they farm crops. They have schools and churches also. Although there are many signs of human activity here, it still screams of the beauty of God’s creation.

We got to our island by canoe, and by canoe, I mean a hollowed out log. Very Pocahontas-y ;) It was about 45 minutes to our island from the mainland. We are staying in what are called “geo domes” (photo at the bottom). I also have some lizards as roommates ;) After settling in, I spent about an hour and a half literally just sitting in the sun looking out, praying, thinking, and just being alone. It is nice to be removed from the distractions of internet and phone service, etc. and the hustle and bustle of Kigali. Ty, Jon and I decided we’d take a canoe over to the island where there is a rope swing and go for a swim. Unfortunately, we discovered, that steering and paddling a hollowed out log is harder than it looks.. we spent some time going in circles, but eventually got it figured out, only to see a rain storm heading our way. The rainy season of Africa strikes again.. we saw the big dark clouds, felt the wind, and on the top of the water, we could see the spray from the water drops landing – it was a pretty phenomenal sight. Especially when we looked to the opposite side and saw blue skies and the sun shining. We decided we should find some shelter because the water was getting a bit rough because of the wind, so we paddled to the nearest island. It rained (heavily) for about 1 minute and then stopped.. all in all, it was a hilarious situation, but also completely beautiful.

As we made our way towards the island, a local man on another island got our attention and held up a football/soccer ball. We decided to skip the rope swing, and accept his invitation. We figured out we were on the island that housed one of the schools. We played some soccer, and spent some time with the kids there. Ugandan kids know more English than Rwandan kids do, so it was nice to have at least a little bit of communication. We took photos, taught each other dances, and they sang to me. It was moments like that where I just reflected and was thinking, ‘Wow, I’m in Africa..” and in those moments, I felt absolutely blessed to have this opportunity. These are things I will hold onto for years and years to come. The canoe trip back to our island was breathtaking all over again, as the sun was beginning to set, and the water was now completely still. We reflected as we paddled back that things like that just don’t happen in Kigali – being that it’s a city, there’s not such a strong, yet open, sense of community. It was refreshing to engage in some light-hearted friendly interactions.

Nighttime brought a fun time of playing cards and just chatting. It’s nice to get away from the busyness of Kigali and just be in complete darkness and stillness. The night sky looked unreal. I don’t think that I have ever seen so many stars in the sky at one time, not ever. It’s a shame how much of God’s creation we miss out on living in city and suburban areas.

Today will be full of more fun and beauty, I am sure. Thanks for reading!

-Bronte.

follow this link for some photos from the weekend :)

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2477861661168.135908.1091280021&type=1&l=7fdad63fa2

blessings amidst the struggles

i just need to vent. ha. and in more than just a facebook status or tweet!

i have been so overwhelmingly blessed throughout this whole experience. in 3 days, it will be one month since i left america (woah, time flies!) and as i look back at it, and as i stand here today, i have such an overwhelming sense of God's peace, love, grace, mercy, faithfulness..i could go on forever. even through just listening to worship songs that i've heard 100 times, the aspects of God's character are seeming more real than usual. although i have really struggled with understanding Him, and at times even became frustrated with Him, His immense goodness has showed through. if nothing else happens in my time here in Rwanda, i will leave getting to say that i was reminded of who my God is. this is something that i feel completely honoured to have been able to learn. the fact that God would allow me, little old me, to feel His character in such a real way, is purely fantastic. He has completely surrounded me and brought strength to me that i can take no credit for. He has reminded me of His power in the little things. God is capable of doing huge things, but in the past month, He has showed me how attentive He is to the little things too. which is exactly what I needed. and perhaps He will go on to show me through some big things too, but if not, i am completely in love with Him for what He has already done.

He is beautiful and huge and strong and gentle all at the same time. i hope that you all are able to feel these same things from Him in your life wherever you are right now.

i love you all.

thanks, as always, for reading.

-Bronte.

quickuku

It has been a relaxing weekend. Friday night my housemate Jamie and I went over to a friend’s house for dinner – a young family from church. It’s always nice to have some social time with people over here. I cannot express just how much of a blessing it has been to find the community that I have. I don’t think I would have made it this far without having such a great group of people to be around. I’m not particularly close to anyone, and I still haven’t completely broken out of my shell to reveal the crazy Bronte that some of you may know ;) but it’s nice just to be in the company of other people (who speak English!)

On Saturday, Jamie and I went to a Rwandan craft fair held at the US embassy, which was also a fun social time.

Today I went to the same church I had written about earlier in my blog – I am within walking distance, and all of the people I have gotten to meet are a part of this church. After church, a group of the younger people usually go out to eat for lunch, so I went along and met a few new people, which was great.

After church, I managed to say hello to a guy who is living over here with his wife and kids, who is from Australia. The first time we’d met, he’d told me about his work, and I expressed how interesting it sounded, and also that I was looking for some group/s to get plugged into. He told me today that the director of the organisation he works for has recently returned to Rwanda. He has offered to talk to the director about me possibly coming to do some intern type work with them. I usually don’t like to share possible projects and stuff before they are actually set in stone and going to happen – but this one, I am telling you about because I would really appreciate your prayer! I know I have already been asking for your prayers concerning finding some work here, so now I’m just making it a little more specific! If you could pray that 1: the director would say that I can come work with them, and 2: that the work they do would be something I am really able to pour my heart into, and be helpful as well as passionate.

Thank you for reading, and if you would be so kind as to pray, I appreciate that too!

-Bronte

muddy season!

Things are good here in Rwanda. Things are RAINY here in Rwanda, but good. The wet season has started. And let me tell you, it is appropriately named, although “muddy season” would also be quite fitting..

I am happily moved into my new house. And I love it here. The house is comfortable – I mean I was actually beginning to really like my bucket showers, and not that I actually ENJOYED the action of having to pour buckets of water over myself, but it just made me reflect on how much water we waste even showering in the Western World.. when trust me, it could be done with just a couple of small buckets! (ok I probably maybe wasn’t quite as clean… but you get my point..) I still don’t have a “shower” per se, but a bath tub and warm running water..running water! The idea of flushing a toilet had become so foreign to me! And having a mirror.. it was strange to see myself again after two weeks! It’s funny how we always think about things like TVs and phones and electronics as the luxuries that we have, and other people do not, when really it’s simple things like running water and bright electricity and mirrors that now seem so luxurious to me! Oh how spoiled we are in the Western World..

I had also been struggling with the fact that I had people serving me so well at the children’s home – and I know and accept that this is a huge cultural thing, but it was difficult for me to feel like a servant when I had people bringing me food, washing my clothes, making my bed, washing my clothes, etc.. Here at the house we do have a cleaning/laundry lady, but I feel that now that my “work” and home life are separated that I don’t feel so uncomfortable about it. And it was also explained to me that it’s almost expected of “well-off” people to have house help because it as seen as supporting the country because it provides employment. And my housemates have also been able to build a relationship with her – she even came with us this week to visit at an orphanage, which was really cool to get to experience with her. She was so amazing with the kids too, so it was definitely a great time to get to spend together.

My housemates are both so great too. It’s just really nice to have other people around, whereas before I was very lonely as I was the only English-speaker in the home. I feel much more at peace and much stronger being here. I’m extremely happy, and blessed is an understatement. God answered my very earnest prayers in such a loving way.

As far as “work”, I have begun working at YWAM’s (Youth With A Mission) base here in Kigali. They run a Christian school on their base for grades 1-6 for Rwandan kids, but school is taught in English. It’s really interesting how these young people can be so strong in two completely different languages! It’s impressive. They have their exam period coming up, so I am helping the teachers in typing up their exams. They do not have the same experience with typing/computers that I do, haven taken computer classes in school, and worked in various offices (as well as typing countless papers in my 4 years at Eastern..), so it takes much less time for me to do it. Also, the teachers are stretched very thinly: they all work insanely long hours, for very little pay. When I decided to come to Rwanda, I did not envision sitting in an office typing, however, many people at the base have told me that they had been praying heavily for someone to be able to help them with this busy period. So, I’m not doing anything that I’m terribly passionate about – I don’t have “a heart” for typing, but I asked God to allow me to help someone somehow, and that’s what I am doing, and so, I am happy. It is SUCH a huge honour for people to tell me that I am answer to prayers. I’m really happy that I’m able to relieve some stress for these dedicated and hard working people.

I also get to have yet another great group of people to spend time with at the base – I have morning tea and lunch with all of the YWAM staff – many are Rwandan, some Congolese, Ugandan, Dutch, Canadian, English, American.. it’s a really great sense of community. There’s a lot of humour – we all get to laugh together, which is a really great way to break down cultural barriers (most of them speak English well). I am really enjoying my time there. I have been so lucky to meet so many great people here in Rwanda. It makes it much easier to have people to enjoy life with.

I am still looking into learning about/helping out at a few other organisations, so hopefully that happens because there are some things I’m pretty excited about.

I can’t believe it was three weeks ago that I left America. It’s been a complete and total roller coaster, with more downs than ups, it seems. And I look back and wish that I could have been stronger (I had a LOT of weak moments that I wasn’t comfortable sharing on here..). I have so many people cheering me on back home, and who believe in me so strongly, and I only hope that I lived up to their opinions of me. Through all of this, I have had peace that God has not been disappointed in me, but I have been conscious of making everyone at home proud, and proving their opinions to be true. I know that there is no judgement or disappointment from those who love me, I only mean to say that I hope I have acted upon all the qualities they have seen in me and shared with me over the past few months. So I thank you all for your ongoing support and encouragement.

But trust me, God has been humbling me hugely here – I think He has taught me more about what I CANNOT do than what I can. Which is completely ok, because that has required me to look at what He can do. I have had to lean heavily upon his faithfulness and strength; and that’s never a bad thing.

I am also humbled by all the people I have met: people who have packed up completely and moved over here, some with families, some alone. Some who have dedicated a year, or two to some cause. Then there’s the women who work at the children’s home I visited this week. They have a group of pretty severely mentally and physically challenged children, and I know that I would probably lose it being there every day. The patience and hard work they bring to these kids is almost unhuman.. it was hard for me just to see for an hour or two – to see these kids who just never will be able to talk or walk or hear or play.. And not because of any fault of their own, but simply because that’s just how it is. It was really overwhelming to see, and brought up a lot of thoughts and questions, but amongst all of that, these women give hour upon hour to helping these kids be as well taken care of as possible. Don’t be proud of me! Give them all your support and compliments!

Anyway,

I appreciate you reading, as always,

Your continued prayer for the details of my “work” and involvement here are appreciated. Thank you!

Much love,

-Bronte.

end of rwanda: chapter 1

today was my last (full) day with the kids. it was a really nice last night. the kids had a lot of great energy when i got there and we did some of their favourite song/dance/games. we practiced a little bit of english while we tried to communicate some things to each other, which took a lot of time, and i *think they got what i was saying, but either way it's good for them to try to communicate in english so they can continue to learn. it makes me sad to know i won't be seeing them every day anymore, but i have been in communication with those in charge about getting to visit every so often, which will be really nice. they're real gems, and i look forward to when i will see them again.

today i also went into town to sort out some errands in preparation for me moving into my new house tomorrow. it's crazy to think that two weeks ago today, i was a nauseated emotional wreck, and today i am able to get a moto, all by myself, into town, to get things done. i owe it to abby, who taught me everything i know, but it's really nice to not feel so lost and alone, and to feel i have the ability to do things for myself now too.

today also marked my first africa-sunburn. realised i forgot to bring sunscreen...whoops!

the wet season has officially started.. hurricane irene has some competition in the rain department.. the rain is intense. things can get pretty muddy around here. tonight was one of the clearest nights since i've been here (or at least the first night i actually thought to stop and look UP), Kigali is a pretty large city, but there's still so much less light pollution than in the States - I've never seen the moon so bright, and seeing the stars was really nice. i still haven't been able to locate the Southern Cross though.

anyway,

continued prayers for my "work" situation are appreciated.

thanks as always for reading

-Bronte.

big changes.

It is after much anxiety, many tears, many prayers, and much consideration, that I have decided that I will no longer be working with New Hope Homes here in Rwanda. It has been very confusing to try to understand why God would have allowed me to fly all the way to Rwanda only to feel that He is not calling me to work with this ministry, but I have full confidence that that is what He wants, and what is best.

At New Hope, the kids are provided for and so well taken care of, that I have realised that I am not truly being a servant – I have been treated so well that I function more as a guest, and an onlooker of other’s hard work, and that is not why I came to Rwanda. I came to offer something – to be helpful, and to be useful. The Aunties and Uncles work so very hard, that I see nothing left for me to do to serve in this ministry. It is hard to not feel guilty about leaving, but I have peace about the fact that God will bring me to a place where I can truly live out the things that made me want to come on this trip in the first place. And I have the peace of knowing that in my leaving, these kids will still be immensely loved and cared for. I am disappointed that this has happened, as it has been beautiful to get to meet these kids, but I also trust that I have to follow the paths where I see God being able to use me as much as possible. I have not yet found that path – I am still searching for work to do here in Rwanda, fully hoping that there is some group here that could truly use my help and where I can truly serve people.

So, as of Sunday, I will be moving into a house with two other women I met through the Bible Study I have been attending. This has been a huge answer to prayer. I have been praying constantly for God to somehow arrange things to work out to somehow let me know that I am in fact meant to be here in Rwanda (in all honesty it has been so tempting to just get on a flight out of here). Last night, I had been planning to go to Bible Study, but it looked like rain was coming, so I decided to set out an hour early and just wait at a friends house until it started. However, as I went to put on my shoes, the rainy season of Africa hit.. I was praying that God would please stop the rain (a petty request, but I had been looking forward to Bible Study all week). Half an hour before Bible Study was meant to start, I realised the rain had stoped – I rushed to get my stuff together and rushed out the door hoping to find a moto driver who would be willing to take me (the motos tend to stop when it rains). It took a while, but I eventually found one. I was already so thankful to God for stopping the rain. In Bible Study we shared some needs and problems we are currently going through, so I shared that I am struggling to find my purpose here in Rwanda. After Bible Study, the woman who runs it and hosts it, asked me what was going on exactly. By the time I got home, she had called me and offered me the spare room in their house. Funnily enough, our study last night was about trusting God’s promise of provision. I am in awe of how good He has been, not only to grant me somewhere to live, but to allow me to live with two really great people, to be surrounded by people I already know in the neighbourhood, and to answer my prayer so quickly (although it felt like an eternity waiting..).

I still feel some anxiety about what I will actually be doing with my time here, but the same way He has proven faithful to provide me a great place to live, I hope He will also somehow show me what comes next.

Thank you for everyone who was praying for this situation, or just for me in general. God is faithful to hear you, that’s for sure. Please thank Him for that.

And I ask your continued prayer for provision of a place for me to serve here.

Much love,

-Bronte.

not quite bi-lingual..

Hi all,

As you know, I have had quite a difficult time with the language barrier here in Rwanda,
However, I thought it might be fun to share with you some of the things I HAVE learned. It’s a really cooolll looking language – hard to speak, but cool to look at ha!

So, here is the complete Bronte-Hughes-Kinyarwanda-Dictionary

Yes –yego
No – oya
Thank you - murakoze
Hello, how are you - amakuru
I’m good – ni meza
Good morning - mwaramutse
Good afternoon/evening - mwirewe
Rain - imvura
Wash - koga
I don’t know – simbizi
I don’t understand - simbyumva
Water - amazi
Come - ngwino
It’s ok/no problem – ntakibazo
Look - umva
Smile – seka

That’s it. The end. Ha!

☺ thanks for reading

Keep praying – things are quite uneasy here, but I’ll provide details when things calm down a bit.

-Bronte.

chickens and bagels.

I’m starting to get to know Rwanda a little better, while also getting plugged into a nice group of other young westerners (although I am discovering I think I must be the youngest person here!) to fend off any possible feelings of loneliness.

This Saturday I experienced my first Saturday morning at African Bagel Company (you can read more about them HERE). Saturday mornings are commonly known as “donuts” – “are you going to donuts tomorrow?” It is very popular for many westerners – young singles and families with kids. So it was nice to have a little bit of time to get to meet a few more people – oh and the bagel was pretty up to par too!

Sunday I went to Christ’s Church Rwanda. It is pastored by an American, so the service is in English, however I’d say 60some percent of the congregation were Rwandans, Ugandans, Kenyans, etc. It was nice to be in a service where I knew some of the songs, and I didn’t have to distract a poor Rwandan to translate for me! After that, I went out to “Mr. Chips” – another popular place for muzungus – with about 12-15 people, which was nice to get to meet even MORE people. Mr. Chips is from the States, and this restaurant is his attempt at bringing a burger joint to Africa.

Yesterday I was able to volunteer at the international school, and also got to connect briefly with an Australian family – I am hoping to maintain some contact with them as their work sounds really interesting.. and they are from Australia so obviously they’re great people ;)

Things are a bit slow at the children’s home with me not being able to communicate much with the kids, so I am looking into some other organisations and groups I can lend some of my time to. I would appreciate prayer in this – that I can find people to connect to and that I may actually be of service to them. I am not looking to be a guest, or to have “an experience” – I truly want to HELP people in some way.

Today, our live chicken was delivered……. I came outside and saw his little feet tied up as he laid helpless in the courtyard.. I then went on my way to free yoga class at the US embassy! It was strange to be in there, as everything looks just like America.. the lights, the door handles, the carpet – the little things that you don’t take notice of until you’re in another country. The yoga class was great – I definitely think I’ll be making it a regular activity. It’s definitely good for my physical health (gotta work off all these potatoes they keep feeding me!), but it’s also really good for my mental/emotional health – I came out feeling more relaxed and energetic. So I am grateful for that. I left the embassy, and was immediately re-surrounded by Africa – a trip back home on the moto. I am completely comfortable with this part of life in Rwanda now. I’m even down to “Look mum! No hands”-riding sometimes ;) I think I’m going to have to start saving up for a motorcycle when I get back to the States…

Alas, when I got home, Emmanuel (our guard) showed me where my chicken friend had gone – he was in the freezer, plucked and all.. He was pretty amused at my reaction to this, and I tried to explain to him that in America, our chicken is already DEAD when we bring it home ;) He continued to repeat something about “chicken DIE” in broken English..

Anyway, overall, I feel more comfortable with my surroundings now, it’s just a matter of figuring out my schedule and which things I can get involved with. All prayer is appreciated please! Please please please!

Thanks, as always,

-Bronte.

daily happenings.

Things are beginning to become routine here. My issues of nausea and bad sleep have stopped (other than my usual sleep issues even when I’m in the US!)

My day looks a little something like this:

Wake up and meet the kids to walk them to school. I have only done this twice so far, but each time all the kids at the school run over to the gate and push and shove so they can get to touch the muzungu – I thought my arm was going to fall off this morning! It’s a bit uncomfortable having so much attention, but they’re funny.

I then go down to the house where the younger kids are. It is difficult to know what to do with them, as I cannot communicate any instructions for games or any activities. I brought down a few books, which ends up being a bit frantic, but they enjoy looking through the pages after I have read it. I have also tried a few games of kicking the ball around. I am going to try to communicate to the aunties for them to come up to the classroom at my house every so often so they have some more resources to play with, etc.

The school kids come home at 12:30 and we eat lunch. If they have homework, I have been trying to help them with it (it’s mostly just copying letters or numbers a few times over), but the language barrier makes this a challenge at times. They know enough English that we make it work though (homework, very good, finish, etc). I have also made some 1-10 flash cards to try to teach them to read the numbers. They can count them out loud, but do not recognise the symbols. I hope by the time I leave they will do this with ease!

Then the kids have a nap/down time. This has also become my down time – I have a chance to write emails, write this blog, read my Bible, or just read a book. I feel a bit uncomfortable sitting around doing the same stuff I’d do at home when I came all this way, but I also have to be aware that I need to take care of myself and have some relaxation time – and also, there isn’t really anything else I CAN do since the kids aren’t up.

A little before dinner, I go back down to the house and do the same thing – sit with the kids, watch a DVD with them, play hand slapping games, etc. We then eat dinner. The food is definitely different, but it’s definitely edible – rice, potatoes, beans, etc. I am not having any major issues with this. I also have a fridge full of fresh fruit at my house.

The kids go to bed around 8 or 8:30, which is when I walk back to my house – my hot water is delivered and I go about my bucket-bathing process, which was easy to learn and I am now pretty pro ;)

Bedtime comes pretty early because I don’t have much else to do, and I have early mornings. And it gets dark very early here – it can feel like 11 pm and it’s really only 6 or 7. It’s been weird to try to adjust to being out when it’s so dark – I would never be out and about in the dark in the States, so just being out in it is strange enough, but then also being out in the dark in a foreign country! I don’t feel unsafe at all, it’s just a strange feeling – a little disconcerting I suppose.

It’s not the most exhilarating schedule, but it has its fun moments. I also have begun searching out some activities for me to do outside of the home 1 so that I can have some English-speaking interactions, and 2 to break up the monotony of each day. Last night I went to a Bible Study that Abby told me about with about 10-15 English-speaking women. It is already SUCH a blessing. It’s really comforting to realise that I’m not the only one who has struggles in this situation. We can all laugh about the same challenges, but also support each other in them. The study we are doing is about God’s promises, which is so necessary for me and was exactly what I need right now, and I’m sure for the other women there too. I will be very much looking forward to Thursday nights for the rest of my time here. I got a lift from an Irish woman named Clare, who is already so helpful and someone I hope to spend time with in the future – we are going through a lot of the same emotions and challenges.

So overall, things have improved. I am still very much struggling with the language barrier and lack of ability to organise things for the kids to do, so I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the big kids in a few weeks who can serve as translators. It is really difficult to be spoken to constantly in a language you do not understand.

Your prayers are still appreciated as I continue to adjust to this country and culture – but my most urgent prayer is that I am able to bond with these kids amidst my language frustrations and that I am able to somehow stimulate them and have fun with them.

If you have any questions or are curious about anything, feel free to email me and I’ll address it in my next post!

Thank you again,

-Bronte.

P.S. today I saw a man who looked like Barack Obama minus having a white mother.

getting adjusted.

Today was much different than the previous ones, and I am beginning to feel more settled.

I started the day by helping out at the international school where Abby teaches. It is a Christian school, with children from all over the world, many of them missionary kids. In Abby’s class there is an Australian girl too! The teachers are essentially volunteers themselves. I am probably going to volunteer there every so often, just to give them a hand. And it’s nice to be around some English every once in a while too!

I then took a moto back to the house.. I did it almost all by myself, and this was the first time I rode it when Abby was not coming with me. I felt good about it though. They’re definitely fun.

Then my day with the kids started. A few of them rushed to the gate to greet me, “muzungu muzungu!!” (soon they will all know my name – almost all do!) We sat for a while and they poked and prodded and played their favourite games with me – which include hand slapping, getting me to blow my hair out of my face, or making raspberry noises with puffy cheeks.. you do what you can when you can’t speak to each other.. ;)

When the older kids came home from school, we played a little bit of a language game where the kids pointed to things and said “what is it?” and I responded with the English word – some things I didn’t have names for! Good thing I know “simbiza” – Kinyarwanda for “I don’t know”. This lead to practicing counting in English. They know how to go a little past 20, but sometimes a few get left out.. They also know a rough version of the ABC’s so I’m trying to work on the pronunciation, but it’s pretty challenging once they sing the song – it all kind of just goes back to the way it was. Three of the school kids then got out their homework so I was able to help them with it - they had to copy writing letters that their teacher had picked out. It was good because I could enforce the English way to say the letters, but it’s challenging to correct someone when you cannot communicate through spoken words. But I am hoping that helping with homework can become a regular occurrence.

The kids went to sleep, so I returned to my house, where I helped to teach our guard some English – he was able to look through the Kinyarwanda-English dictionary and pick out words and asked me to pronounce them, so he could then write down the pronunciation in terms he would understand. He has asked me to teach him again tomorrow. I like that I can be helpful, and it’s something to fill my time while the kids sleep. His English is broken, but I communicate fairly well with him.

I went back for dinner time with the kids – they ended up watching a Hillsong kids DVD for the second time today which was pretty entertaining.

So overall, I’m beginning to adjust and to figure out a schedule. This will most likely change when the big kids come at the end of October, but I am looking forward to having other people in my house and having more people to communicate in English with.

Thanks for your prayers – they are working, and I pray (and ask that you pray) that I continue to move forward, and not take any steps back. There’s still a lot of thoughts and emotions rolling around in my head, but the nausea and fight not to cry on a consistent basis is leaving rapidly.

Thank you again,

-Bronte.

a day out in Kigali.

Today started with me feeling much better – I even managed to eat some breakfast, and a full lunch!

I came out of the house and was greeted by a small boy on the street exclaiming excitedly “muzungu!!” I went down and hung out with the kids who don’t go to school for a bit – got peed on, spat on, poked, prodded, but it doesn’t bother me – luckily!

I felt much better when I had something to occupy my brain. It is only when I have nothing to do that I start to feel uneasy and upset.

At 12:30 the older kids came home, and it was lunch time. But then it’s nap time.. for the first little bit of time the Aunties were teaching me some Kinyarwanda, which was fun.. it’s hard sometimes when I am surrounded by all these people speaking another language, and sometimes they look at me as if they are speaking about me, but I cannot understand! (not that I think they are saying anything bad, but it’s still not fun to be completely out of a conversation you are surrounded by). Eventually me and one of the Aunties went into the house where the TV was on – it was in English – but sitting around watching TV is not something that is helping me to adjust. But now that I have learned the children’s schedule it will be easier to navigate where I should be and when. So I think things will again improve (as well as if you keep praying!!)

Then Abby came to meet me and we took the mutatu (bus) into town. Kigali is a busy place – even up around the house where I live there’s constantly people around. Constantly. The “centre” of Kigali is even crazier – cars, motos, people, everywhere. It was fun, and it felt good to do it with someone else, instead of by myself for the first time. We got a couple of errands run, then decided to take the moto back to the house… what an intense experience! A moto is a small motorcycle, with a driver, and you just tell them where you want to go, negotiate a price, and hop right on the back! There is a small handle on the back/side of the seat to hold onto (although Abby says she sometimes just has her hands in her lap..I don’t think I’ll be trying that..) They go about 30-40 miles an hour, which feels really fast when you’re out in the open air! It was terrifying for a minute or two, especially weaving around in town, but eventually it was just fun – we ended up taking two more tonight and I’m down to one-handed passenger-ing ;)

We were invited to “quiz night” at a pizza place that has a majority muzungu crowed. You would never have known you were in Rwanda being in this place. As much as it’s nice to know there are other expats around, I don’t want to become too comfortable with this, as it will make adjusting even harder. But there is a Bible study on Thursday nights I’m hoping to go to.

Anyway, I am now staying at Abby’s house for the night, which again, I hope will not interfere with my adjusting – I’ve decided I need to just stick my head up and deal with it. I’m beginning to beat myself up way too much about it, and I don’t want to fall short on my commitment to this trip. It’s a decision I made, and I have to live up to it.

Anyway, hoping that my physical and emotional strength will continue to increase, and as always, your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Thanks again

-Bronte.

improvement

slept a bit better last night! i woke up a couple of times, but not nearly as much and not feeling as badly as my first night. this came after some scripture reading and prayer, so i am feeling thankful to God for his provision. still not feeling 100%, but definitely a bit better.

the kids have gone to school by now - a few of the littlest ones still may be at the home, so i may wander down there soon. they will return at 12:30 but probably nap, so today will not be very busy..

thank you for all who prayed/are praying.

first day in Kigali.

Well, my first full day in Rwanda is almost over. Things are pretty difficult at the moment – the combination of flying (I tend to get airsick a bit), jet lag, and adjusting to very new surroundings have left me quite nauseated. I did not sleep well because of again – jet lag and a lot of emotions. I have been feeling quite sick all day and have barely been able to eat, which isn’t good because the Aunties LOVE to feed me more food than I can even fit in my stomach!

Aside from that, I had a good day. It started with visiting the kids (who are still fascinated by my hair and earrings), and they are learning my name now, instead of just calling me “muzungu” – white person in Kinyawranda (it is not meant as an offensive term). I then went to to Rwandan church! It was a lot of fun – a lot of upbeat music, dancing, and lots of happy people! Someone was so kind enough to sit a lady next to me who could translate for me, which was very helpful, because a lot of things shared will be very helpful for the feelings and thoughts I have been going through. I wish it was a quick fix and I could take it all in and feel better, but I am still very anxious about my place here – knowing when to be where and what to do is very difficult when you cannot communicate with those in charge. Once the older kids come home in about a month, they will be able to translate, so for now I will have to struggle on.

After church, Abby, who is an American woman who moved over here after volunteering with New Hope a few times, came to see me. It was so nice to have someone to speak English with, and it also allowed me to vent a little and opened up a lot of emotions. So, it was nice to let some of that out and have someone understand where I am. She is so nice and has offered for me to hang out with her and her friends (also English speakers), and even sleep at her house if there are times I need to just get away. This will come in handy, I am sure. She also showed me around the neighbourhood, and is taking me into town tomorrow to buy some things (hopefully unlimited internet!) I also have a Rwandan phone now so I can communicate both with her and with Chantal (Mrs. Mbanda who started New Hope).

So, right now, times are hard. Adjusting is not my strongest characteristic, so this time is very challenging. I hope that soon I will stop feeling sick, will be able to sleep, and will be a lot happier.

Please keep praying for me through this hard time – I appreciate it greatly.

-Bronte.

arrival in Rwanda.

Well, I’m here! After a 13 hour plane ride to Ethiopia (the layover was very overwhelming being that it was the beginning of being in an overseas/non-English speaking country), then a 2 hour flight to Uganda, then a 33 minute… yes 33 minute flight to Rwanda. I was greeted by a man holding a sign “BRONTE. New Hope Homes” – I’ve always wanted to be one of those people ;)

We headed to the home – I am staying in a home with a few other bedrooms, and a living room, and one of the “Aunties” will also be coming to sleep here so I am not all alone. Although Rwanda is assumed to be a very safe place (especially compared to other African countries) all the houses are fenced/gated in – we have a door man who locks and unlocks the door for us. So I feel very safe here, although it is still intimidating walking around because I stick out like a sore thumb..

I took a little while to unpack some of my stuff and get situated AKA take a nap because of my jet lag/sleep deprivation. I was then awoken by Christine, one of the “Aunties”. I think that I will stay close to Christine, as she seems to understand/speak English the best of everyone… but that doesn’t mean she speaks much.. at all! But she is a very sweet girl and we bonded almost instantly – we were walking along literally arm in arm laughing only 10 minutes after we’d met. She took me down to the home where the kids live – it’s a 5 minute walk, if not shorter. At first the kids just stared at me. Quietly. It was not what I expected since I had heard how lively they were. Then one or two was brave enough to venture over.. which turned into playing with my hair and poking at my piercings! They were totally mesmerized by my earrings – something I assumed they’d be familiar with! Eventually I was surrounded by kids – two on my lap, two next to me, one on my back. Most of them with their hands in my hair, or *almost up my nose inspecting my nose ring ;)

It’s really tough knowing that we can’t communicate through words, so really all we have is laughter and facial expressions. But let me tell you… these kids faces.. are STUNNING. So mischievous too! I really wish I could understand their words so that I could figure out their personalities even more than what their facial expressions tell me.

The “Aunties” got out one of the Kinyarwanda translation books so we were able to communicate a few small questions, but nothing substantial yet. I’m hoping that I’ll get to pick up some of the language, although reading it and hearing it are two different things..

I am now back at the house, I am still very worn out from a long day of travelling and jet lag. I am about to attempt my first non-shower bathing ritual.. This could be fun.. I’ll have to upload a photo sometime of my little contraption. I also realised after returning, that I did not bring a hairbrush – this may prove problematic if the kids continue to be so engrossed in my hair ;)

Overall, I’m still anxious – still not settled in, as it’s been less than 12 hours, but Chantal comes tomorrow – she’s the one who started New Hope Homes and she speaks English, so that will be a little piece of relief.

Thanks again for everyone’s prayers. Keep ‘em coming – I’m still pretty emotional just due to the adjustment piece of everything. I just need to get in the swing of things and understand my role here and I’ll be good, but until that happens it’s all a bit oveewhelming.

Love you all,

- Bronte.

motivation.

ok, this post is going to be a little difficult to navigate - the writing i mean, hopefully not the reading!

last night, my two best friends and boyfriend threw me a surprise going away party. they are much too sneaky! i cannot believe they pulled it off so well, but am so grateful to them for doing so. at the party, people were asked to share something about me, or a memory, or just a kind word. all my closest friends came, some family friends, church friends, my boyfriend's family, etc. as they went around the room and shared things, i was truly humbled. to hear the high opinions people held of me and what i am about to do meant so, so much to me. it was such a special time of people just being genuine and kind and encouraging. it is a moment that i think i will keep with me for the rest of my life.

i emotionally tried to thank them all and explained that over the past few years and months, the idea of this trip was exciting, but now that it is getting closer, and has become more real, it is now scary, nerve-racking, and causes a lot of anxiety. i let them know that they had reminded me of the things i had forgotten about myself - the reasons why i had decided to go on this trip. it was so confirming to hear from people who have known me just one year, to my parents who have known me all of my 22 years, that they understand and believe this is what i am meant to do.

as much as this was confirming and encouraging, and i am extremely grateful to all the people who support me, there are still a lot of emotions i am facing. i have only short moments of excitement when i think of what is ahead of me. i have been thinking over the fact that this IS my passion, and the fact that i should be desiring to serve these people and to live out God's call on my life, but more than anything all i have felt is the anxiety and the temptation to run away from it. i don't feel guilty for this, necessarily, because i think that God understands that the things He asks of me aren't always going to be easy. i think He is gracious enough to me and my humanity that He knows that it's scary, and in a way, i think that makes this trip even more special - it would be EASY if this was something i was whole-heartedly ready to do and unafraid of. but to be honest, my whole heart isn't in it (yet - i have full belief that this will come once i arrive, etc), but i think that's what makes it important - that i do something that requires faith and trust in God, because faith is made stronger and made truer when there are struggles attached to it. i am reminded not only of Jonah, but also of Moses, who was called by God to take a trip to an unknown place, and although he was feeling unqualified and like he wasn't the right person for the job (something that i can relate to currently), he trusted and went anyway.

that being said, not only will i find my motivation and my courage in this promise of God's understanding and guidance through this time, but through each of those people in the room last night, and each of the words that they shared will be a constant encouragement and source of strength. to know that people believe in this, even when i may feel like i don't, will be something i will hold on to. because not only do i not want to let God down, or the people of Rwanda and India, but i do not want to let down the people who see so much in me and believe in me the way they do. i do not want to make their words become a lie - i want to live them out to the best of my ability.

thank you to everyone who was there, to everyone who wanted to be there, and to anyone reading this blog - because the fact that you took the time to read it means you care, and i hope that that also means you believe in me to accomplish all that i have written about.

please continue to be in prayer if you are one who prays

some requests are:

-obviously for these feelings to be cancelled out

-the language barrier when i arrive in Rwanda

-my ability to become adjusted to the schedule and daily happenings and to find my place in that

-continued financial support (thank you for all who have prayed for this, as we have already seen some support come in!)

thank you so much again

-Bronte.