motivation.

ok, this post is going to be a little difficult to navigate - the writing i mean, hopefully not the reading!

last night, my two best friends and boyfriend threw me a surprise going away party. they are much too sneaky! i cannot believe they pulled it off so well, but am so grateful to them for doing so. at the party, people were asked to share something about me, or a memory, or just a kind word. all my closest friends came, some family friends, church friends, my boyfriend's family, etc. as they went around the room and shared things, i was truly humbled. to hear the high opinions people held of me and what i am about to do meant so, so much to me. it was such a special time of people just being genuine and kind and encouraging. it is a moment that i think i will keep with me for the rest of my life.

i emotionally tried to thank them all and explained that over the past few years and months, the idea of this trip was exciting, but now that it is getting closer, and has become more real, it is now scary, nerve-racking, and causes a lot of anxiety. i let them know that they had reminded me of the things i had forgotten about myself - the reasons why i had decided to go on this trip. it was so confirming to hear from people who have known me just one year, to my parents who have known me all of my 22 years, that they understand and believe this is what i am meant to do.

as much as this was confirming and encouraging, and i am extremely grateful to all the people who support me, there are still a lot of emotions i am facing. i have only short moments of excitement when i think of what is ahead of me. i have been thinking over the fact that this IS my passion, and the fact that i should be desiring to serve these people and to live out God's call on my life, but more than anything all i have felt is the anxiety and the temptation to run away from it. i don't feel guilty for this, necessarily, because i think that God understands that the things He asks of me aren't always going to be easy. i think He is gracious enough to me and my humanity that He knows that it's scary, and in a way, i think that makes this trip even more special - it would be EASY if this was something i was whole-heartedly ready to do and unafraid of. but to be honest, my whole heart isn't in it (yet - i have full belief that this will come once i arrive, etc), but i think that's what makes it important - that i do something that requires faith and trust in God, because faith is made stronger and made truer when there are struggles attached to it. i am reminded not only of Jonah, but also of Moses, who was called by God to take a trip to an unknown place, and although he was feeling unqualified and like he wasn't the right person for the job (something that i can relate to currently), he trusted and went anyway.

that being said, not only will i find my motivation and my courage in this promise of God's understanding and guidance through this time, but through each of those people in the room last night, and each of the words that they shared will be a constant encouragement and source of strength. to know that people believe in this, even when i may feel like i don't, will be something i will hold on to. because not only do i not want to let God down, or the people of Rwanda and India, but i do not want to let down the people who see so much in me and believe in me the way they do. i do not want to make their words become a lie - i want to live them out to the best of my ability.

thank you to everyone who was there, to everyone who wanted to be there, and to anyone reading this blog - because the fact that you took the time to read it means you care, and i hope that that also means you believe in me to accomplish all that i have written about.

please continue to be in prayer if you are one who prays

some requests are:

-obviously for these feelings to be cancelled out

-the language barrier when i arrive in Rwanda

-my ability to become adjusted to the schedule and daily happenings and to find my place in that

-continued financial support (thank you for all who have prayed for this, as we have already seen some support come in!)

thank you so much again

-Bronte.

WHY.

So I definitely should be sleeping, alas, I am in the mood to write this.

So as an update, first and foremost: my visa application is on it's way to Delaware to be united with all the other documents required for my application to be formally submitted. I'm hoping to get a multi-entry visa in case I want to pop over the border into Uganda, or some other neighbouring country. But at the moment, I'm just anxious for everything to be approved so I can move forward with booking my flights.

I was able to skype with Donna and some of the kids the other night and also morning!! Gosh - I already am filled with such joy. I can't wait to actually meet them. Their first question for me was "Do you like football?", followed by "Will you play football with us?" They were thrilled to hear I am a Chelsea fan, and proceeded to ask me only about which Chelsea players I like :) They also asked when I was coming and when I was leaving - it makes me feel good to know they are already anticipating my arrival :)

As far as India goes, I have not heard anything back yet - I'm being optimistic and taking this as a good sign - that perhaps they are looking into it and seeing what can be done about the time period..

Ok. Moving on.. another question posed by a friend that I decided would be appropriate to answer here for all to read..

"What made you want to go?"

HA. Probably a question I SHOULD have an immediate answer to. It took me aback because I really felt like I had to think about it.. I don't know that there is an easy answer. It's cliche, but it's true, that this is something I've been wanting to do since I was a kid - I can't remember a time that I didn't want to go to Africa/travel. But obviously this is much more than just some childhood dream. I'm the kind of person that can't just hear something sad, and feel something, and then move on in my life. When I feel something, I need to act upon it in some way. (This of course has it's limitations in that I am not able to act upon EVERYTHING that sparks emotion..) I am not comfortable, or happy, or purposeful, or passionate just sitting still and watching a world go on around me that is suffering. I know that I cannot fix the world, or a country, a state, a city - heck I can't even "fix" one person.. but I can stand by them and empower them to move forward in some way. Perhaps not even that, perhaps they will never find relief from suffering, but if I can just show them an ounce of love and compassion, then my purpose as a human being, and as a proudly-confessing Christ-follower, has been fulfilled. I suppose my motivation comes from a desire to prove evil wrong: I don't want people to continue to live their lives thinking that there is only pain and suffering in this life. I want them to know that there are people who care, that there is hope, that there can be peace in the midst of evil. If I could be the one to bring that message to them, I would feel that my life has reached what it should be, and would be TRULY honoured. Ultimately, I would hope they could see that this peace and hope and love all does come from Christ, but even if they don't, I would be happy to know they had relief from doubt, sadness, and hopelessness.

So. There you have it - why I do what I do. In a very brief nutshell..

To all the pray-ers out there, would it be ok if I compiled a little list for you? :)

- For my India application to be approved for January

- For my Rwandan visa to be processed, and processed QUICKLY

- For finances - this is a trip that my parents and I decided we would fund ourselves, however, the cost is very high. Although I am not asking people directly for support (through formal support letters, etc), I am not too proud or naive to know that God does provide, and that His provision often comes through others. So, prayer for financial provisions (feel free to contact me if you are interested in donating :) )

- Safety while I am there. Although I am not placing myself in any direct danger, traveling always has risks, especially being a female in a foreign country.

THANKS. I appreciate if you made it to the end of this horridly long post... :)

-Bronte.

keep a -prayin'!

Hi all,

SO! funny thing timing is! I just received an email from the organisation in India this morning! I have...

BEEN ACCEPTED..!!

however... I was accepted for the same time period that I'm meant to spend in Rwanda..

so I have requested to be approved for a January arrival, and I'm hoping this is something that is do-able on their end. I'd hate to have to miss out on working with them just because of timing.

so all of you who are pray-ers, once again, I would really appreciate your prayers on this one!

thanks!

-Bronte.

Whoopsie!

Someone kindly pointed out to me that this blog does not yet explain what I am doing.. :)

So. As of right now I am going to be volunteering with an orphanage called New Hope Homes in Rwanda <-- click there to learn about them! You can read some more about them on my contact, Donna's blog: http://rwandadonna.blogspot.com She often posts pictures and updates of the children there - and they are BEAUTIFUL.

The plan is to leave in late September, and stay through until late December, so about 3 months. Right before Christmas, I will go to Australia to spend some time with my family. I will stay there until sometime in January.

Now, as far as India goes, I have only applied to the organisation I want to volunteer with, but have not yet heard back about my acceptance/rejection (I hope the first one!!) But they are an organisation dedicated to the rescuing of children forced into sex slavery. Not only do they rescue these children, but they work hard to get these children the services they need - education, job training, counseling & therapy, as well as attempting to locate the girl's family. The after-care program is made up of Social Work volunteers, which is perfect since I just received my Bachelor's of Social Work in May.

If I am accepted, I plan to stay about 5-6 months, so until June/July.

So, like I said, prayers for my acceptance are appreciated :)

- Bronte.

Welcome!

Hi everyone!

This is going to be the blog I will use to update everyone on my travels to both Rwanda and India!

Obviously I haven't left yet, so there isn't much to say, however I'm going to start writing occasionally up until when I actually do leave - then hopefully much more frequently! I have been able to establish that I will have access to internet in Rwanda, however I do have to pay per KB or however they measure it, so skyping won't be very accessible due to cost. I can access email and facebook, etc, but again, with limited access due to cost. So - this will be my main form of communicating to people about what I'm doing.

Currently I am still waiting for my Rwandan Visa to be processed, and also to be officially accepted to the program I'd really love to work with in India. So, if you're a pray-er, those are some things you might add to your list :)

I'm both anxious and excited at this point - it is slowly becoming a reality which is very intimidating. But, I'll have to let you know how it goes in a couple of months! ;)

-Bronte.