It is after much anxiety, many tears, many prayers, and much consideration, that I have decided that I will no longer be working with New Hope Homes here in Rwanda. It has been very confusing to try to understand why God would have allowed me to fly all the way to Rwanda only to feel that He is not calling me to work with this ministry, but I have full confidence that that is what He wants, and what is best.
At New Hope, the kids are provided for and so well taken care of, that I have realised that I am not truly being a servant – I have been treated so well that I function more as a guest, and an onlooker of other’s hard work, and that is not why I came to Rwanda. I came to offer something – to be helpful, and to be useful. The Aunties and Uncles work so very hard, that I see nothing left for me to do to serve in this ministry. It is hard to not feel guilty about leaving, but I have peace about the fact that God will bring me to a place where I can truly live out the things that made me want to come on this trip in the first place. And I have the peace of knowing that in my leaving, these kids will still be immensely loved and cared for. I am disappointed that this has happened, as it has been beautiful to get to meet these kids, but I also trust that I have to follow the paths where I see God being able to use me as much as possible. I have not yet found that path – I am still searching for work to do here in Rwanda, fully hoping that there is some group here that could truly use my help and where I can truly serve people.
So, as of Sunday, I will be moving into a house with two other women I met through the Bible Study I have been attending. This has been a huge answer to prayer. I have been praying constantly for God to somehow arrange things to work out to somehow let me know that I am in fact meant to be here in Rwanda (in all honesty it has been so tempting to just get on a flight out of here). Last night, I had been planning to go to Bible Study, but it looked like rain was coming, so I decided to set out an hour early and just wait at a friends house until it started. However, as I went to put on my shoes, the rainy season of Africa hit.. I was praying that God would please stop the rain (a petty request, but I had been looking forward to Bible Study all week). Half an hour before Bible Study was meant to start, I realised the rain had stoped – I rushed to get my stuff together and rushed out the door hoping to find a moto driver who would be willing to take me (the motos tend to stop when it rains). It took a while, but I eventually found one. I was already so thankful to God for stopping the rain. In Bible Study we shared some needs and problems we are currently going through, so I shared that I am struggling to find my purpose here in Rwanda. After Bible Study, the woman who runs it and hosts it, asked me what was going on exactly. By the time I got home, she had called me and offered me the spare room in their house. Funnily enough, our study last night was about trusting God’s promise of provision. I am in awe of how good He has been, not only to grant me somewhere to live, but to allow me to live with two really great people, to be surrounded by people I already know in the neighbourhood, and to answer my prayer so quickly (although it felt like an eternity waiting..).
I still feel some anxiety about what I will actually be doing with my time here, but the same way He has proven faithful to provide me a great place to live, I hope He will also somehow show me what comes next.
Thank you for everyone who was praying for this situation, or just for me in general. God is faithful to hear you, that’s for sure. Please thank Him for that.
And I ask your continued prayer for provision of a place for me to serve here.
Much love,
-Bronte.
