One of the things that kept me in Rwanda so long was the fear that I'd leave and regret it and feel like a huge failure and feel really dumb for the way things went. I am happy to report that this is not the case! I have full peace about my decision to leave when I did (about 3 weeks earlier than originally planned). Even though things did not go according to plan, I have confidence that I was trying to follow what I thought God wanted for me. I don't know if I misinterpreted His plan, or if He sent me to Rwanda to learn all the things I did learn there, but, I don't think I have to know - whichever of the two it may be, I was trying to be obedient to Him, and He sees that - I know He isn't disappointed in me, and that's really all that counts in the end.
I hope that one day I will be able to return to Rwanda and give it another go! Now that I have more knowledge of what kind of programs exist, what is needed, and where I fit in in those areas, I don't want to walk away from it, just accepting that it happened and that's the end - I want to redeem my time there somehow, but that won't be for another few years, so we'll cross that bridge when we come to it ;)
As for now, I am happy to be here in Australia, but also a bit nervous about my upcoming trip to India. I definitely feel good about the things I have learned during my time in Rwanda that I can now apply to India, but I'm also nervous about missing home all over again. Adjusting to life in Rwanda was extremely difficult for the first few days/week, and now that I am so relieved and happy to be here with my family and will be seeing Bryce and then have to say bye to him again for 3 months, I am scared that it's going to be ever harder all over again once I get to India.
So, once again, for all my pray-ers out there, if you could please pray that I would 1. be able to enjoy my time here without worrying about India, and 2. that my transition to my stay in India will not be too emotionally draining and that I will have peace about being there.
Thanks again for reading,
I probably won't be updating again until I get to India in the first week of February, so for now, have a beautiful Christmas!
