daily happenings.

Things are beginning to become routine here. My issues of nausea and bad sleep have stopped (other than my usual sleep issues even when I’m in the US!)

My day looks a little something like this:

Wake up and meet the kids to walk them to school. I have only done this twice so far, but each time all the kids at the school run over to the gate and push and shove so they can get to touch the muzungu – I thought my arm was going to fall off this morning! It’s a bit uncomfortable having so much attention, but they’re funny.

I then go down to the house where the younger kids are. It is difficult to know what to do with them, as I cannot communicate any instructions for games or any activities. I brought down a few books, which ends up being a bit frantic, but they enjoy looking through the pages after I have read it. I have also tried a few games of kicking the ball around. I am going to try to communicate to the aunties for them to come up to the classroom at my house every so often so they have some more resources to play with, etc.

The school kids come home at 12:30 and we eat lunch. If they have homework, I have been trying to help them with it (it’s mostly just copying letters or numbers a few times over), but the language barrier makes this a challenge at times. They know enough English that we make it work though (homework, very good, finish, etc). I have also made some 1-10 flash cards to try to teach them to read the numbers. They can count them out loud, but do not recognise the symbols. I hope by the time I leave they will do this with ease!

Then the kids have a nap/down time. This has also become my down time – I have a chance to write emails, write this blog, read my Bible, or just read a book. I feel a bit uncomfortable sitting around doing the same stuff I’d do at home when I came all this way, but I also have to be aware that I need to take care of myself and have some relaxation time – and also, there isn’t really anything else I CAN do since the kids aren’t up.

A little before dinner, I go back down to the house and do the same thing – sit with the kids, watch a DVD with them, play hand slapping games, etc. We then eat dinner. The food is definitely different, but it’s definitely edible – rice, potatoes, beans, etc. I am not having any major issues with this. I also have a fridge full of fresh fruit at my house.

The kids go to bed around 8 or 8:30, which is when I walk back to my house – my hot water is delivered and I go about my bucket-bathing process, which was easy to learn and I am now pretty pro ;)

Bedtime comes pretty early because I don’t have much else to do, and I have early mornings. And it gets dark very early here – it can feel like 11 pm and it’s really only 6 or 7. It’s been weird to try to adjust to being out when it’s so dark – I would never be out and about in the dark in the States, so just being out in it is strange enough, but then also being out in the dark in a foreign country! I don’t feel unsafe at all, it’s just a strange feeling – a little disconcerting I suppose.

It’s not the most exhilarating schedule, but it has its fun moments. I also have begun searching out some activities for me to do outside of the home 1 so that I can have some English-speaking interactions, and 2 to break up the monotony of each day. Last night I went to a Bible Study that Abby told me about with about 10-15 English-speaking women. It is already SUCH a blessing. It’s really comforting to realise that I’m not the only one who has struggles in this situation. We can all laugh about the same challenges, but also support each other in them. The study we are doing is about God’s promises, which is so necessary for me and was exactly what I need right now, and I’m sure for the other women there too. I will be very much looking forward to Thursday nights for the rest of my time here. I got a lift from an Irish woman named Clare, who is already so helpful and someone I hope to spend time with in the future – we are going through a lot of the same emotions and challenges.

So overall, things have improved. I am still very much struggling with the language barrier and lack of ability to organise things for the kids to do, so I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the big kids in a few weeks who can serve as translators. It is really difficult to be spoken to constantly in a language you do not understand.

Your prayers are still appreciated as I continue to adjust to this country and culture – but my most urgent prayer is that I am able to bond with these kids amidst my language frustrations and that I am able to somehow stimulate them and have fun with them.

If you have any questions or are curious about anything, feel free to email me and I’ll address it in my next post!

Thank you again,

-Bronte.

P.S. today I saw a man who looked like Barack Obama minus having a white mother.

getting adjusted.

Today was much different than the previous ones, and I am beginning to feel more settled.

I started the day by helping out at the international school where Abby teaches. It is a Christian school, with children from all over the world, many of them missionary kids. In Abby’s class there is an Australian girl too! The teachers are essentially volunteers themselves. I am probably going to volunteer there every so often, just to give them a hand. And it’s nice to be around some English every once in a while too!

I then took a moto back to the house.. I did it almost all by myself, and this was the first time I rode it when Abby was not coming with me. I felt good about it though. They’re definitely fun.

Then my day with the kids started. A few of them rushed to the gate to greet me, “muzungu muzungu!!” (soon they will all know my name – almost all do!) We sat for a while and they poked and prodded and played their favourite games with me – which include hand slapping, getting me to blow my hair out of my face, or making raspberry noises with puffy cheeks.. you do what you can when you can’t speak to each other.. ;)

When the older kids came home from school, we played a little bit of a language game where the kids pointed to things and said “what is it?” and I responded with the English word – some things I didn’t have names for! Good thing I know “simbiza” – Kinyarwanda for “I don’t know”. This lead to practicing counting in English. They know how to go a little past 20, but sometimes a few get left out.. They also know a rough version of the ABC’s so I’m trying to work on the pronunciation, but it’s pretty challenging once they sing the song – it all kind of just goes back to the way it was. Three of the school kids then got out their homework so I was able to help them with it - they had to copy writing letters that their teacher had picked out. It was good because I could enforce the English way to say the letters, but it’s challenging to correct someone when you cannot communicate through spoken words. But I am hoping that helping with homework can become a regular occurrence.

The kids went to sleep, so I returned to my house, where I helped to teach our guard some English – he was able to look through the Kinyarwanda-English dictionary and pick out words and asked me to pronounce them, so he could then write down the pronunciation in terms he would understand. He has asked me to teach him again tomorrow. I like that I can be helpful, and it’s something to fill my time while the kids sleep. His English is broken, but I communicate fairly well with him.

I went back for dinner time with the kids – they ended up watching a Hillsong kids DVD for the second time today which was pretty entertaining.

So overall, I’m beginning to adjust and to figure out a schedule. This will most likely change when the big kids come at the end of October, but I am looking forward to having other people in my house and having more people to communicate in English with.

Thanks for your prayers – they are working, and I pray (and ask that you pray) that I continue to move forward, and not take any steps back. There’s still a lot of thoughts and emotions rolling around in my head, but the nausea and fight not to cry on a consistent basis is leaving rapidly.

Thank you again,

-Bronte.

a day out in Kigali.

Today started with me feeling much better – I even managed to eat some breakfast, and a full lunch!

I came out of the house and was greeted by a small boy on the street exclaiming excitedly “muzungu!!” I went down and hung out with the kids who don’t go to school for a bit – got peed on, spat on, poked, prodded, but it doesn’t bother me – luckily!

I felt much better when I had something to occupy my brain. It is only when I have nothing to do that I start to feel uneasy and upset.

At 12:30 the older kids came home, and it was lunch time. But then it’s nap time.. for the first little bit of time the Aunties were teaching me some Kinyarwanda, which was fun.. it’s hard sometimes when I am surrounded by all these people speaking another language, and sometimes they look at me as if they are speaking about me, but I cannot understand! (not that I think they are saying anything bad, but it’s still not fun to be completely out of a conversation you are surrounded by). Eventually me and one of the Aunties went into the house where the TV was on – it was in English – but sitting around watching TV is not something that is helping me to adjust. But now that I have learned the children’s schedule it will be easier to navigate where I should be and when. So I think things will again improve (as well as if you keep praying!!)

Then Abby came to meet me and we took the mutatu (bus) into town. Kigali is a busy place – even up around the house where I live there’s constantly people around. Constantly. The “centre” of Kigali is even crazier – cars, motos, people, everywhere. It was fun, and it felt good to do it with someone else, instead of by myself for the first time. We got a couple of errands run, then decided to take the moto back to the house… what an intense experience! A moto is a small motorcycle, with a driver, and you just tell them where you want to go, negotiate a price, and hop right on the back! There is a small handle on the back/side of the seat to hold onto (although Abby says she sometimes just has her hands in her lap..I don’t think I’ll be trying that..) They go about 30-40 miles an hour, which feels really fast when you’re out in the open air! It was terrifying for a minute or two, especially weaving around in town, but eventually it was just fun – we ended up taking two more tonight and I’m down to one-handed passenger-ing ;)

We were invited to “quiz night” at a pizza place that has a majority muzungu crowed. You would never have known you were in Rwanda being in this place. As much as it’s nice to know there are other expats around, I don’t want to become too comfortable with this, as it will make adjusting even harder. But there is a Bible study on Thursday nights I’m hoping to go to.

Anyway, I am now staying at Abby’s house for the night, which again, I hope will not interfere with my adjusting – I’ve decided I need to just stick my head up and deal with it. I’m beginning to beat myself up way too much about it, and I don’t want to fall short on my commitment to this trip. It’s a decision I made, and I have to live up to it.

Anyway, hoping that my physical and emotional strength will continue to increase, and as always, your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Thanks again

-Bronte.

improvement

slept a bit better last night! i woke up a couple of times, but not nearly as much and not feeling as badly as my first night. this came after some scripture reading and prayer, so i am feeling thankful to God for his provision. still not feeling 100%, but definitely a bit better.

the kids have gone to school by now - a few of the littlest ones still may be at the home, so i may wander down there soon. they will return at 12:30 but probably nap, so today will not be very busy..

thank you for all who prayed/are praying.

first day in Kigali.

Well, my first full day in Rwanda is almost over. Things are pretty difficult at the moment – the combination of flying (I tend to get airsick a bit), jet lag, and adjusting to very new surroundings have left me quite nauseated. I did not sleep well because of again – jet lag and a lot of emotions. I have been feeling quite sick all day and have barely been able to eat, which isn’t good because the Aunties LOVE to feed me more food than I can even fit in my stomach!

Aside from that, I had a good day. It started with visiting the kids (who are still fascinated by my hair and earrings), and they are learning my name now, instead of just calling me “muzungu” – white person in Kinyawranda (it is not meant as an offensive term). I then went to to Rwandan church! It was a lot of fun – a lot of upbeat music, dancing, and lots of happy people! Someone was so kind enough to sit a lady next to me who could translate for me, which was very helpful, because a lot of things shared will be very helpful for the feelings and thoughts I have been going through. I wish it was a quick fix and I could take it all in and feel better, but I am still very anxious about my place here – knowing when to be where and what to do is very difficult when you cannot communicate with those in charge. Once the older kids come home in about a month, they will be able to translate, so for now I will have to struggle on.

After church, Abby, who is an American woman who moved over here after volunteering with New Hope a few times, came to see me. It was so nice to have someone to speak English with, and it also allowed me to vent a little and opened up a lot of emotions. So, it was nice to let some of that out and have someone understand where I am. She is so nice and has offered for me to hang out with her and her friends (also English speakers), and even sleep at her house if there are times I need to just get away. This will come in handy, I am sure. She also showed me around the neighbourhood, and is taking me into town tomorrow to buy some things (hopefully unlimited internet!) I also have a Rwandan phone now so I can communicate both with her and with Chantal (Mrs. Mbanda who started New Hope).

So, right now, times are hard. Adjusting is not my strongest characteristic, so this time is very challenging. I hope that soon I will stop feeling sick, will be able to sleep, and will be a lot happier.

Please keep praying for me through this hard time – I appreciate it greatly.

-Bronte.

arrival in Rwanda.

Well, I’m here! After a 13 hour plane ride to Ethiopia (the layover was very overwhelming being that it was the beginning of being in an overseas/non-English speaking country), then a 2 hour flight to Uganda, then a 33 minute… yes 33 minute flight to Rwanda. I was greeted by a man holding a sign “BRONTE. New Hope Homes” – I’ve always wanted to be one of those people ;)

We headed to the home – I am staying in a home with a few other bedrooms, and a living room, and one of the “Aunties” will also be coming to sleep here so I am not all alone. Although Rwanda is assumed to be a very safe place (especially compared to other African countries) all the houses are fenced/gated in – we have a door man who locks and unlocks the door for us. So I feel very safe here, although it is still intimidating walking around because I stick out like a sore thumb..

I took a little while to unpack some of my stuff and get situated AKA take a nap because of my jet lag/sleep deprivation. I was then awoken by Christine, one of the “Aunties”. I think that I will stay close to Christine, as she seems to understand/speak English the best of everyone… but that doesn’t mean she speaks much.. at all! But she is a very sweet girl and we bonded almost instantly – we were walking along literally arm in arm laughing only 10 minutes after we’d met. She took me down to the home where the kids live – it’s a 5 minute walk, if not shorter. At first the kids just stared at me. Quietly. It was not what I expected since I had heard how lively they were. Then one or two was brave enough to venture over.. which turned into playing with my hair and poking at my piercings! They were totally mesmerized by my earrings – something I assumed they’d be familiar with! Eventually I was surrounded by kids – two on my lap, two next to me, one on my back. Most of them with their hands in my hair, or *almost up my nose inspecting my nose ring ;)

It’s really tough knowing that we can’t communicate through words, so really all we have is laughter and facial expressions. But let me tell you… these kids faces.. are STUNNING. So mischievous too! I really wish I could understand their words so that I could figure out their personalities even more than what their facial expressions tell me.

The “Aunties” got out one of the Kinyarwanda translation books so we were able to communicate a few small questions, but nothing substantial yet. I’m hoping that I’ll get to pick up some of the language, although reading it and hearing it are two different things..

I am now back at the house, I am still very worn out from a long day of travelling and jet lag. I am about to attempt my first non-shower bathing ritual.. This could be fun.. I’ll have to upload a photo sometime of my little contraption. I also realised after returning, that I did not bring a hairbrush – this may prove problematic if the kids continue to be so engrossed in my hair ;)

Overall, I’m still anxious – still not settled in, as it’s been less than 12 hours, but Chantal comes tomorrow – she’s the one who started New Hope Homes and she speaks English, so that will be a little piece of relief.

Thanks again for everyone’s prayers. Keep ‘em coming – I’m still pretty emotional just due to the adjustment piece of everything. I just need to get in the swing of things and understand my role here and I’ll be good, but until that happens it’s all a bit oveewhelming.

Love you all,

- Bronte.

motivation.

ok, this post is going to be a little difficult to navigate - the writing i mean, hopefully not the reading!

last night, my two best friends and boyfriend threw me a surprise going away party. they are much too sneaky! i cannot believe they pulled it off so well, but am so grateful to them for doing so. at the party, people were asked to share something about me, or a memory, or just a kind word. all my closest friends came, some family friends, church friends, my boyfriend's family, etc. as they went around the room and shared things, i was truly humbled. to hear the high opinions people held of me and what i am about to do meant so, so much to me. it was such a special time of people just being genuine and kind and encouraging. it is a moment that i think i will keep with me for the rest of my life.

i emotionally tried to thank them all and explained that over the past few years and months, the idea of this trip was exciting, but now that it is getting closer, and has become more real, it is now scary, nerve-racking, and causes a lot of anxiety. i let them know that they had reminded me of the things i had forgotten about myself - the reasons why i had decided to go on this trip. it was so confirming to hear from people who have known me just one year, to my parents who have known me all of my 22 years, that they understand and believe this is what i am meant to do.

as much as this was confirming and encouraging, and i am extremely grateful to all the people who support me, there are still a lot of emotions i am facing. i have only short moments of excitement when i think of what is ahead of me. i have been thinking over the fact that this IS my passion, and the fact that i should be desiring to serve these people and to live out God's call on my life, but more than anything all i have felt is the anxiety and the temptation to run away from it. i don't feel guilty for this, necessarily, because i think that God understands that the things He asks of me aren't always going to be easy. i think He is gracious enough to me and my humanity that He knows that it's scary, and in a way, i think that makes this trip even more special - it would be EASY if this was something i was whole-heartedly ready to do and unafraid of. but to be honest, my whole heart isn't in it (yet - i have full belief that this will come once i arrive, etc), but i think that's what makes it important - that i do something that requires faith and trust in God, because faith is made stronger and made truer when there are struggles attached to it. i am reminded not only of Jonah, but also of Moses, who was called by God to take a trip to an unknown place, and although he was feeling unqualified and like he wasn't the right person for the job (something that i can relate to currently), he trusted and went anyway.

that being said, not only will i find my motivation and my courage in this promise of God's understanding and guidance through this time, but through each of those people in the room last night, and each of the words that they shared will be a constant encouragement and source of strength. to know that people believe in this, even when i may feel like i don't, will be something i will hold on to. because not only do i not want to let God down, or the people of Rwanda and India, but i do not want to let down the people who see so much in me and believe in me the way they do. i do not want to make their words become a lie - i want to live them out to the best of my ability.

thank you to everyone who was there, to everyone who wanted to be there, and to anyone reading this blog - because the fact that you took the time to read it means you care, and i hope that that also means you believe in me to accomplish all that i have written about.

please continue to be in prayer if you are one who prays

some requests are:

-obviously for these feelings to be cancelled out

-the language barrier when i arrive in Rwanda

-my ability to become adjusted to the schedule and daily happenings and to find my place in that

-continued financial support (thank you for all who have prayed for this, as we have already seen some support come in!)

thank you so much again

-Bronte.

work.

"Do not think that saintliness comes from occupation; it depends rather on what one is. The kind of work we do does not make us holy, but we may make it holy."

- Meister Eckhart

Jonah.

T-9 days. woah.

Where did the time go?? One minute I'm thinking about doing some traveling, the next I'm boarding a plane to Rwanda in 9 days..

This brings a lot of feelings with it, as you might imagine. I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but I think the excitement will really kick in once I'm actually there and can physically SEE it. Right now, I'm pretty anxious. I still have a lot to do (small things, but still things, nonetheless), a lot to pack, buy, organise, etc etc.. Luckily I have really helpful parents who are helping to get things all ready.

I guess, I feel a bit like Jonah. For those of you who are not familiar with the Bible story, Jonah is told by God to go to the city of Ninevah and tell them about Him.. Jonah decides he is too scared to do that, and instead gets on the wrong boat and goes somewhere else.. now in Jonah's case, there's a huge storm, and he ends up getting thrown overboard as a "sacrifice" of sorts, and swallowed by a giant fish.. for those of you who know me, you know I am QUITE terrified of fish.. So I'm not going to be a Jonah.. I'm not going to run away from what I believe God wants me to do, but in saying that I feel like Jonah, I mean that I understand his fear and hesitancy in traveling a huge distance to a land where nothing is comfortable or familiar.

Being in a place with a language barrier is going to be quite new for me, so that's causing some anxiety. New foods, new customs, new people - it's all going to be a HUGE adjustment when I first arrive, and adjusting is something that I have often been uncomfortable with.

So, once again, for those of you who believe in the power of prayer:

- peace as I prepare to leave and also for everything to soon be completed so I can feel a little more relaxed

- peace and quick adjusting when I do arrive (in 10 more days!)

- relationships to be quickly made regardless of the language barrier

- financial resources - I did not write support letters or anything for this trip, and although I have been able to contribute to the cost of my trip, a lot is still falling on my parents. (let me know if you are interested in making a donation!)

- safety as I travel (I will be flying from DC to Ethiopia - a 13 hour flight, then a 2 hour flight from Ethiopia to Rwanda)

Thank you all so much

-Bronte.